lulu2010

Me and my husband have been together going on 7 years been married 2 and have a beautiful 1 year old daughter together.
Almost 2 months ago he admitted he had an affair with a lot younger girl and i say girl cause he his 26 and the girl is only 17.
Which luckily were we live is legal. But still not legal for me to kick her a##. Sorry still some bad blood there.
Anyway since he told me about the affair I have done nothing but obsessive over it. I still don’t know what she really looks like. I have tried all most everyday to hack her facebook and MySpace profiles just to see her.
Mine and his marriage was on the rocks to begin with which he says led to him cheating. Now that the truth has came out and the healing is taking place are marriage has never been better are only real problem is me obsessing over it all the time.
I am still completely destroyed inside but I can seem to show it to him or anyone and it is eating me alive in side. Sorry I am just having a rough day need to get it off my chest.

morituri

Cut yourself some slack. What you experienced was an emotional tsunami that turned your world and everything you believed in upside down. Even those of us who never reconciled after DDay had to go through the painful personal recovery process.

Don't allow your husband to tell you to 'get over it'. He's not the one experiencing the ordeal of betrayal, you are. If he's chosen to reconcile with you, then he should be emotionally supportive of you during those difficult moments that you will continue to experience from time to time.

I wish you and your the best.

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

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StrugglingMan

You need to be able to tell your husband how hurt you are and let him know when you are having a bad day. That is the only way you're going to be able to process all of this. If you keep holding it in, you will eventually come to resent him so much that you and your marriage will implode.

Talk to him, get IC if you need and MC for you both if you can.

Good luck.

workindad

I wish I knew the answer to your question that I thought would work for me. I've read a ton on the subject and understand what the above 2 posters are saying. But I do not have a remorseful spouse. Not at all, I'm bailing on her a filing later this week. I hope you find different path.

Good luck.

pidge70

Every time I have a trigger I push it away. You can't move forward if you keep looking back. Best of luck to you.
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