You know, the fact that you would even CONSIDER giving in to her whining says a lot about you and your moral code and your self worth. And it ain't that pretty.
Maybe you should spend the next three months neck-deep in therapy to get to a better place where you are CAPABLE of crapping on her pillow for what she's done.
Interesting perspective. She actually is entitled to our joint assets when we finally get things settled. that include some retirement money and household items. She just can't access their worth until the divorce is final. If it wasn't for the prenup, she would be entitled to temporary support while the settlement is reached. The money would come from her portion of the joint assets, so it's not like I am giving her something she isn't eventually entitled to. I think your response is pretty harsh.
My goal in the divorce is not to punish her or extract retribution. I'm still in the sad phase. What I do want is to be rid of her and hopefully not have a huge amount of animosity i as we deal with family things in the future. But it seems I am squarely in the minority here........
She has her own job, yes? A good enough one that it pays for her to travel extensively, yes? She has been having multiple affairs or ONSs, yes?
She has pretty much torn up your life, with no remorse, has suffered NO consequences other than getting divorced, and she now continues to manipulate you...because she knows she can. So much so that you are now considering giving hush money to the woman who's destroyed your life, just so she won't make your life miserable for 3 months.
I'm not a lawyer, but it would seem to me that any stipend you give her during this phase could be used against you if/when she lawyered up.
I wouldn't agree to anything with her verbally and especially in writing. Make sure the lights are on, gas is in the car, and food is in the fridge until she's gone. Other than that I wouldn't give her anything that could be construed as an allowance. If she wants spending money--get a job. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm not a lawyer, but it would seem to me that any stipend you give her during this phase could be used against you if/when she lawyered up.
I wouldn't agree to anything with her verbally and especially in writing. Make sure the lights are on, gas is in the car, and food is in the fridge until she's gone. Other than that I wouldn't give her anything that could be construed as an allowance. If she wants spending money--get a job. Posted via Mobile Device
Not sure about gas in car. Unless its job hunting at Mcdonalds.
I am not sure I understand---If the home is your seperate property, and your wife has been served, and you are basically seperated, as far as your states family codes go---why does your wife get to stay, if your seperated, there is no marital abode----you know you can access your states family codes on the computer, I would go thru every single code, and see what actually applies to your situation---there are plenty of D., atty's., who are not familiar with each and every family code---I think you will find the codes very interesting!!!!!
Obviously you must have realized your wife wanted you to give her a kid, so she could tie you up for 18 more years---she is some kind of a piece of work
Well I sure hope she's using these three months to get a REAL job that pays her all year long.
fwiw, she is living for free in your house for 3 months, eating your food, using your electricity and Internet. Other than that, what the hell else does she need? If she needs more, tell her McDonalds is hiring.
New wrinkle. In my state, the community estate ends when the other party is served with divorce papers. There was very little cash in the community accounts. Most of it is in my separate property or in retirement accounts. As noted above, we have a prenup which actually precludes spousal support. My wayward wife has gone through a phase of being incredibly nice to me to guilting me over giving up on the marriage to now guilting me over the fact that she has no money to live on. She still lives in my home where I pay all the bills, etc.
I am leaning toward giving her a stipend in exchange for her being pleasant. I can't get rid of her from the home until Dec as it is the marital home. The alternative is to say F*** you! and put up with her unpleasantness. Might also soften her in the settlement negotiations.
Anybody have an opinion on this?
It's not extortion. It's her bargaining.
I dont see why you should give her any money than is absolutely required by your prenup or legally.
Why would you give her any money when she's been screwing guys behind your back? Why give her more money so that she can continue with that habit?
My goal in the divorce is not to punish her or extract retribution. I'm still in the sad phase. What I do want is to be rid of her and hopefully not have a huge amount of animosity i as we deal with family things in the future. But it seems I am squarely in the minority here........
Your goal should be not to reward poor behavior, betrayal and unfaithfulness.
If you want to give her some money, and then she can move out and you can both move on with your lives, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's a mature decision.
I actually have a divorced friend that did this. She is an accountant, her husband was having affairs, she "paid him" to settle quickly and just move on. It's just money. She didn't want to fight about it, or have it drag on. She made him an offer, and he took it and things were over quickly. She is glad she did it. It got him out of the house and she was able to deal with recovering and it was closure. She says it was the best thing she ever did. She wasn't interested in "punishing him". That's karma's job. Just move on.
61Likes
Re: How would you interpret this message 
