It's computer monitoring software, the basic ones are keyloggers. There are free ones, which basically only record keystrokes, to the more expensive ones that record keystrokes, capture screenshots of the computer, email you the results, etc. There are good ones like Spector Pro, Web Watcher, Spy Agent, etc. There are also free ones, but you get what you pay for.
Why do you need a keylogger? So you can be aware of their communications, such as how long this has been going on, what they have done, and what they are planning to do. Another key tool cheaters use is the secret email account. A keylogger will capture their usernames and passwords.
A keylogger is generally a piece of software you install to log all activity and either save it in a file you can retrieve later or it can be mailed off somewhere. There are some which are built on dongles or hardware fobs attached to the PC these are obviously not secretive but usually a matter of corporate or gov. policy. Keyloggers are built to be stealthy and most of them are pretty good at that depending on what antivirus, anti rootkit software might already be installed.
Unless there is a concrete reason for collecting forensic information such as financial data, secret bank accounts or information that can and will lead to a materially different and better divorce, then other than confirming your own worst suspicions, what is the actual goal of this?
I have to tell you as part of my work, because of some state laws I have to be a licensed PI which sounds a lot more glamorous than it is. So I am familiar with this stuff. But the question I have to ask is, if you're already so far down the distrust rat hole you're willing to consider doing this, materially spying on them, then what are you trying to accomplish and, if you stay together will you eventually tell your partner you did this or will it remain a secret? And what will your partner do if they should ever find out you did this?
Again, I mean in circumstances where the upshot is personal. You're not looking for assets or people breaking laws and such.
Runs like Dog, I only have my suspicions right now. My radar is stating that there is an EA starting with a high school "female" friend. I don't have proof and would like to have it before I start making accusations.
Any advice anyone can provide me would be greatly appreciated!
I'm not saying you're totally mistaken. I'm suggesting that once you open the Pandora's Box it could get messy. Let's say you're totally wrong, for now. And it turns out nothing is happening. Then what?
In any case the tools are easy enough to install and even a good one is fairly inexpensive, under a hundred bucks. They are easy to install and configure for the most part.
When you are done with it, you should uninstall it. Whether you tell your husband about this, is your decision.
A keylogger is generally a piece of software you install to log all activity and either save it in a file you can retrieve later or it can be mailed off somewhere. There are some which are built on dongles or hardware fobs attached to the PC these are obviously not secretive but usually a matter of corporate or gov. policy. Keyloggers are built to be stealthy and most of them are pretty good at that depending on what antivirus, anti rootkit software might already be installed.
Unless there is a concrete reason for collecting forensic information such as financial data, secret bank accounts or information that can and will lead to a materially different and better divorce, then other than confirming your own worst suspicions, what is the actual goal of this?
I have to tell you as part of my work, because of some state laws I have to be a licensed PI which sounds a lot more glamorous than it is. So I am familiar with this stuff. But the question I have to ask is, if you're already so far down the distrust rat hole you're willing to consider doing this, materially spying on them, then what are you trying to accomplish and, if you stay together will you eventually tell your partner you did this or will it remain a secret? And what will your partner do if they should ever find out you did this?
Again, I mean in circumstances where the upshot is personal. You're not looking for assets or people breaking laws and such.
I understand you've never been betrayed so you've never been in that situation. For you, infidelity is an immediate deal breaker, and that's fine. Not everyone thinks like you do.
So if you suspect something is going on, are you going to end your 30 year marriage based on that?
Unlike you, many people aren't ready to just crash the marriage without proof, and not everyone can afford to hire a PI like you. You talk about not using the evidence in court, so what? How about someone who simply wants proof beyond any doubt that infidelity is ocurring if the affair partners are utilizing the home computer as a tool of the affair.
And many, including myself, use monitoring software to establish positive proof that there is an affair or a lack of one, to possibly identify the extent of the affair such as past events or even possible future plans between the affair partners, to possibly obtain the identity of the OW/OM, and possibly the identity and contact information of the other betrayed spouse. If a BS has decided that are is possible, they can use this software to verify and ensure that there is no further contact, which helps rebuild trust. Since you haven't been there, I don't see how you can advise someone to use or not use one. Anyone utilizing this software should be able to use it until they feel that they no longer have a need for it.
I guess it's not so cut and dried for me. Because I get to see the fallout of trying to find something out that's not there. And now the 'trust' tables have been completely turned. I've seen the 'good' spouse turn around and divorce the the suspicious spouse for that reason alone. And I have to say I DO understand that kind of thinking. It's almost like being psychologically raped.
And while it's not something I do professionally because I don't do private practice, I know enough family law attorneys to hear a remarkable number of stories of people who have 'threatened' divorce only to have their partner jump at the chance, dump them, toss them in the trash. The astonished looks on their faces must been something indeed.
Look. I am not advocating one thing or another. But before you go snooping be very sure you know what you're doing and what could happen. People do not like being spied upon. Their reactions are unpredictable and uncertain. Much like the woman who calls the cops on her drunk husband who hit her, and when the cops come to arrest him SHE's beating on the cops to stop them. People are weird.
I have used one called webwatcher on my teenage daughter. Just to make sure she keeps out of trouble. They are great. That one monitors facebook, texts, webmail, pictures, everything.
I once had a Turkish soldier point and **** an assault rifle at my head until he realized I was asking directions to the ferry. Then he kissed me and lead me there himself, paid the fare and pushed everyone else out of the line so I could go first.
Always-
Thats good thinking, gather your proof and make copies for him when you confront. By doing this you will have the most effective confrontation.
Having the evidence will cut to the chase, theres no denying, theres no counter accusations, it somewhat clear that you know whats going on. Even though I have heard of cases were even the blackest of the whitest proof is still denied, rare but it dose accure.
Another thing about gathering evidence it will help down the road when you do have to make the affair as difficult and as inconvienent as possible by exposing it to other for there support in repairing the marriage.
Having the evidence will cut to the chase, theres no denying, theres no counter accusations, it somewhat clear that you know whats going on. Even though I have heard of cases were even the blackest of the whitest proof is still denied, rare but it dose accure.
you arent kidding.
my ex-supposed wife was laying about a foot away from me on the bed then made the very bad mistake of asking me if she could use my laptop to yahoo message her lady boss at work, (she didnt know i had installed a keylogger on my lap top).
when she was done and i read back how much she couldnt wait to suck her 'friends' d!ck, she swore and still did til i left, that she was telling him she was done with the affair.
yeah, they will still find a way to deny it.
Keylogger? 
