Looking for hugs and advice

Jellybeans · 06-22-2011, 12:38 PM

LOL Forsaken

Forsaken · 06-22-2011, 12:55 PM

Sometimes I get pretty heated and jump the gun, my last comment may seem kind of irrational. If I was walking away with a permanent STD(s) then she would be walking away at the very least with her head held really low.

lordmayhem · 06-22-2011, 12:59 PM

Forgot about the permanent STDs. Ouch!

EXPOSE!

Runs like Dog · 06-22-2011, 01:11 PM

Yeah I would not tell the neighbors. First off half of them are probably screwing around and two, the other half will look at you like you're the loser who couldn't keep his wife in check. Life is like high school and most people are f^cking clueless morons.

Forsaken · 06-22-2011, 01:45 PM

People that purposely spread disease like this need to be made an example of. I bet if your neighbors and friends find out, some of them may find out that they have an STD as well...

biggu5 · 06-22-2011, 02:15 PM

Thanks all. Yes, part of the exposure is vindictiveness but part is revealing her true self to those who thought they knew her. Real Wisteria Lane BS there. Suburbia has sucked the lifeblood from my veins. I was sucked into the corporate jungle to continually try and make more money to support the things she wanted. Granted I love my job but I used to be a fly fishing/white water guide in the Rockies. I haven't been on my mountain bike in 12 years...

So, I believe in natural consequences. I don't want her to know that she can hide anymore. I want people to know who she really is. My therapist agrees that it appears she has SA. Interesting... she got a boob about 3 years ago and that is when everything started to change, IMHO.

Do I need to let the married OM's partner know they were sending explicit pics and txts? I think so. If it was me, I would want to know. I confronted my married neighbor whom she was also send explicit pictures too. I couldn't find proof of what he said back and he didn't appear to send pics back but damn!!!

SHE NEEDS TO BE EXPOSED!!!

The other OM (not the one she got pregnant with) claims to a Christian man. He lives with his sister and her husband who are good Christians. Thinking about letting them know about the affair(s) as well. I am pissed right now...

Forsaken · 06-22-2011, 02:25 PM

Yes let the OM's W know, she needs to get tested for STDs as well, who knows who she really contracted the STDs from and who she spread them to.

Forsaken · 06-22-2011, 02:27 PM

As far as you know it was only picture messages they were sending back and forth, they may have done other stuff so I would let the OM's W know about the pics and let them know that your W has STDs and that your not entirely sure if they ever did anything physical so they should get checked.

Corkey88 · 06-22-2011, 02:32 PM

Firstly, your ex-wife is messed up. hat type of behavior is indicative of some sort of sexual abuse in her past likely as a child. She is a sex addict. It is a compulsion for her. She needs the attention. She is incredibly insecure and clearly out of control. She needs professional help and fast.

As for you, ask yourself why you are attracted to these dysfunctional women? We are attracted to those that are like us. Perhaps a little bit of self-reflection is needed. Find out why you make these bad choices.

Best of luck. You certainly deserve better.

Jellybeans · 06-22-2011, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biggu5

Do I need to let the married OM's partner know they were sending explicit pics and txts?

Absolutely. Tell her today. Your wife f-cked around with multiple people totally upping the chances of them all getting/sharing/having STDs. She needs to get check.

So do you.

biggu5 · 06-23-2011, 10:41 PM

REALLY hurting today. Traveling for grandmothers funeral and at my parents house. Reminders everywhere of the happy life I used to have. Even a picture book we put together for X-mas 2010. Just trying to figure out what the f happened...

morituri · 06-23-2011, 11:58 PM

If you chose to divorce, make sure that you take your time and plan it carefully. Go over to dadsdivorce.com: Lessons Learned - Before and During and read, read and read. Knowledge is power and nowhere is this the case as it is in divorce.

Good luck.

Forsaken · 06-24-2011, 08:07 AM

Sorry things are so hard big, were here to help you through it. Just vent, it seems to help.

biggu5 · 06-25-2011, 11:29 PM

Oh boy Morituri, after looking at dadsdivorce.com this is going to suck even more than it does now. Bad enough to suffer through several affairs but now the whole divorce process.

morituri · 06-26-2011, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biggu5

Oh boy Morituri, after looking at dadsdivorce.com this is going to suck even more than it does now. Bad enough to suffer through several affairs but now the whole divorce process.

Do you remember the story of the mountain climber who faced the life and death decision of cutting off his arm and surviving, but chose to cut his arm off? Well that is how divorce feels like.

I love my GF til no end but I would be lying to you that the second most excruciatingly painful choice in my life was filing for divorce from my second wife. I love that woman to the point of gladly giving up my life for her. But the discovery of explicit sexual material between her and her lover was simply too much for me to bear. She begged and cried on her hands and knees for me to not leave her but I knew that our marriage was over.

But life does indeed go on and I emotionally healed and made a new life for myself. Was it easy? hell no but the wise advice given on divorcedads.com was crucial in making my divorce much less painful.

Your wife's actons led to this point so you must make sure that you do not waver in seeking the best outcome for yourself and your children. Divorce is war plain and simple