06-22-2011, 02:51 PM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: In Texas
| | Stopping the Merry Go Round
I ride the horse on this merry go round
its the one that stands for everything normal everything comfortable, everything that is still as it was.
But I find myself exhausted
when the ride doesnt stop its round and round and round
like the cowboy in an old black and white western that takes a shot to the shirt pocket, and hangs on for a few more gallops
before tilting to the side, and falling in a plume of dust.
The horse keeps running on.
For now I keep a lid on this container that holds what i feel.
I cant let it out, middle of the ride, it'll spill all over the place and stain too many people unintentionally.
but the container needs to be bigger, because as the days go by, it fills, sometimes to weighty for me to hold onto, too
hard to keep the lid on it.
I cling to the plastic mane, as if it is the only thing that keeps me sane. The rusty bronze chain controls nothing.
Other people's faces emit a happy countenance. It is as if the ride has just begun for them, I used to smile when i first got on.
But something has dimmed the lights, something has brought about that nausea, and i find myself afraid to get off. Afraid to face the contents of the jug Ive filled.
the ride would go on without me anyways.
the smiles would circle around lit by the reflection of painted palaminos.
Then i'd would face the dizziness. the results of riding for too long.
I guess then I would pay the carnie my ticket.
His delay, is not a denial.