Wife had an affair
I have been married to my wife for 18 years, when we got married we were 19 and 18, we have two beautiful daughters, we have been through a lot of hard things. When my oldest daughter was 10 years old she got brain cancer. We went through a lot, but together we helped each other during those hard times. My wife has always been very distrustful. At the begining of the year she accused me of liking a coworker that is 18 years younger that me. That was not true, I have never cheated on my wife, We had horrible fights about it, I took a lie detector to show her that I wasn't cheating and I passed it. we also went to marriage therapy but it did not help. I found out months later that while all this was happening, my wife met a coworker and had an affair that lasted for over a two month and which is now over. she had this affair while we were going to marriage therapy, she told me that she had the affair because she though that our marriage was over, she was going to divorce me and this guy was going to help her with the divorce and that he wanted to marry her, at home she had all the necesary things for her and my daughter packed, she was ready to go, she broke off with him after I asked her that we should give ourselfs a second chance, that we could not erase 17 years of marriage and that we could not throw away all that we had achived together as a couple, she agreed. This is the first time that she cheated on me, she told me that they only kissed, huged and talk about their future together because she wanted to get divorced. Last night she implied that they had sex once, when I asked her if she did it she said not, she said that they were really close once when they were at his house but she stoped him, something inside of me makes me think otherwise. At that moment my hearth broke in two, I love her so much and I never thought that she could do this to me, I feel betrayed, I trussted her 100%. she sees this guy everyday when she goes to work, she told him that she wants to work in our marriage, but the guy doesn't give up, my wife avoids him, he then tries to act just like a friend but he can not stop his feeling for her and sometimes tries to convince her to come back with him because he wants to marry her. He makes her confuse, she treats him bad to see if he goes away but he always comes back. My wife told me that she likes him alot physically and emotionaly, she thinks that he is a grea guy, my wife thinks and talks about him alot. she changed alot in just a couple of months, she used to be kind of shy, dedicated wife and mother, now she is wild and all she cares is about looking good, provocative, having fun and going out, when she goes out is with me. What it hurts me the most is that sometimes when we are making love, she fantasizes that she is doing it with him, sometimes I can hear her calling his name. That hurts me deaply, she tells me that she is trying to get him out of her mind and that she is working on it. sometimes she tells me that he is a better man than me, because they get along just find. What should I do? she sees him every day at work, he is going to be out for a month. My wife tells me that he writes to her but that she has never answers to his e-mails, when she sees him she tells him to stop writing to her, to leave her alone. At this moment we can not afford for her to quit her job. I love her with all my strenght and I can feel that she loves me. I need some advice. Thanks
Last edited by AVAYA2011; 06-27-2011 at 10:01 AM.