06-27-2011, 09:38 AM
Join Date: May 2011
| | Re: Wife still concerned for lover after infidelity
What everyone has told you above is correct but I will add, as a the cheating spouse in an internet based EA, that putting the emotions of the EA behind you are hard and not done over night. No Contact is No Contact and that's what she should stick to because your feelings should mean more to her than the feelings of her AP or the pain she is experiencing in the death of her affair. If she truly wants to reconcile she will stick to no contact but don't hold it against her if she struggles with it for a little while.
I committed No Contact to my wife and broke it 3 times, some with my wife's consent and some not, but I was always completely honest and transparent with her. She was strong enough to believe that I was committed to our marriage and that I was really struggling through unraveling the affair in my mind. If she tells you the truth, all of the truth, try to help her out a little.
Again, the advice you've received so far is all spot on. Just trying to give a little perspective from the wayward side in that it is hard unwinding yourself from the Affair. That doesn't earn the wayward spouse any sympathy, they earned their pain, but it doesn't change the fact that no matter how much they love their spouse and want to reconcile, there is a lot of pain for the WS too.