Hi All,
First of all, I apologize if there will be any mistakes in the language. English is not my first language.
I have a really long story, and I will try to make it as short as I can. Maybe I will fill the rest of the details in later comments .I discovered the TAM about two weeks ago, and honestly it helped me a LOT! I read many threads here, and some of them were exactly my thoughts and feeling. I was amazed by it .So, long story short, about 5 months ago my H suddenly came home and told me he need a break. I'm 29 and H is 31. We are together for 9 years, married 5 years no kids. I was devastated. We had our issues but I have never ever thought this will come to it. I had a couple of rough years. We couldn't have children, and we had Fertility treatments for about 3.5 years. Finally, about one year ago first time it succeeded. But unfortunately after 2.5 months I had a miscarriage. It was the hardest thing ever. The first 3 months after my H left, I thought I'm going to die. I didn't eat, sleep and talk. I lost weight. I moved out and stayed at my parents' house for 2 months. No need to say that the reason of this sudden "BREAK" is OW. I kept on blaming myself for everything! That was a real shock to me. Never ever thought he could do this. He was the most amazing H (until the last year). People always were jealous of our relationship. He is my first love, my first lover, and he was all I have ever lived for. I don’t know how to live without him. Everything I have ever done was for him. I don’t know even how to live for myself .The situation now is that I have rented a little apartment by myself, first time ever living alone. He was shocked when told him I will be moving out to live alone. I'm trying EVERYHTING for R. literally EVERYHING you can think of. But when I started to read the TAM I discovered the 180, and now this is my new strategy. Having a real hard time to do it. The OW is older than him, and have 3 kids (!!!). This is so hurtful that sometimes I cannot stop crying. My heart is in so much pain that I don’t know how to deal with. I am seeing a counselor and I feel a lot of progress in this 5 months, but I still love him and think about him 24/7.
Not to say, that we are still in contact. We still sleep together (I know it is a mistake. but This was a major issue in our marriage and I need to show him it can be better than it was. And it is a lot better!). But he still cannot leave the OW. And it drives me crazy! WTF?? I know you will all say that this is the perfect situation for him to have 2 women, but I keep telling myself that he is not that type of men, and each time I'm disappointed all over again.
I feel like I need to show him how good it can be (because honestly I haven't been myself for this years, and I feel I ow him at least this). I know he made a HUGE mistake by cheating me and I think this pain will stay in my heart for the rest of my life…..
Sorry again if this thread is all over the place…. I have tried to organize it as much as I can.
First of all, I apologize if there will be any mistakes in the language. English is not my first language.
I have a really long story, and I will try to make it as short as I can. Maybe I will fill the rest of the details in later comments .I discovered the TAM about two weeks ago, and honestly it helped me a LOT! I read many threads here, and some of them were exactly my thoughts and feeling. I was amazed by it .So, long story short, about 5 months ago my H suddenly came home and told me he need a break. I'm 29 and H is 31. We are together for 9 years, married 5 years no kids. I was devastated. We had our issues but I have never ever thought this will come to it. I had a couple of rough years. We couldn't have children, and we had Fertility treatments for about 3.5 years. Finally, about one year ago first time it succeeded. But unfortunately after 2.5 months I had a miscarriage. It was the hardest thing ever. The first 3 months after my H left, I thought I'm going to die. I didn't eat, sleep and talk. I lost weight. I moved out and stayed at my parents' house for 2 months. No need to say that the reason of this sudden "BREAK" is OW. I kept on blaming myself for everything! That was a real shock to me. Never ever thought he could do this. He was the most amazing H (until the last year). People always were jealous of our relationship. He is my first love, my first lover, and he was all I have ever lived for. I don’t know how to live without him. Everything I have ever done was for him. I don’t know even how to live for myself .The situation now is that I have rented a little apartment by myself, first time ever living alone. He was shocked when told him I will be moving out to live alone. I'm trying EVERYHTING for R. literally EVERYHING you can think of. But when I started to read the TAM I discovered the 180, and now this is my new strategy. Having a real hard time to do it. The OW is older than him, and have 3 kids (!!!). This is so hurtful that sometimes I cannot stop crying. My heart is in so much pain that I don’t know how to deal with. I am seeing a counselor and I feel a lot of progress in this 5 months, but I still love him and think about him 24/7.
Not to say, that we are still in contact. We still sleep together (I know it is a mistake. but This was a major issue in our marriage and I need to show him it can be better than it was. And it is a lot better!). But he still cannot leave the OW. And it drives me crazy! WTF?? I know you will all say that this is the perfect situation for him to have 2 women, but I keep telling myself that he is not that type of men, and each time I'm disappointed all over again.
I feel like I need to show him how good it can be (because honestly I haven't been myself for this years, and I feel I ow him at least this). I know he made a HUGE mistake by cheating me and I think this pain will stay in my heart for the rest of my life…..
Sorry again if this thread is all over the place…. I have tried to organize it as much as I can.