My wife had an affair, lasted 6 months. It was last year. I keep having this questions on my mind, and everytime I try to ask anything we fight. Some say, I shouldn't know all the details, its gonna eat me inside. Int he other hand she is supposed to not hide/lie to me about it.
My feeling is that I will only rebuild my self esteem back once I know I am "better" than him (for her). But what if he is?
I wrote a list of questions. Please tell me what is right to as and what is not (some will not make any sense for you, just bear with me. And i'm gonna hide some info, for privacy):
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What was you routine when at his place? And before he got his own place, where did you and him spend time and had sex?
After you came back from the concert in ****(another city), have you ever been with him again? Have you gone somewhere just you and him? Have you kissed him? Sex with him?
When was the last time you had sex with him?
What did you and him talk about your future together? Was he going to support you thru school, including tuition?
When did you break up with him? Did he just agree or did he try to talk you out of it? Did make any (more) promises for the future?
When did he stop contacting you? Did you have to ask him to stop? Did he insisted?
Do you think he has ever cheated on you? (except with [his wife]) Why, did you catch anything suspicious?
After breaking up with him, you kept seeing him as “friend”. Any kiss or sex?
To who in your life did you ever talk about him? For example, “me and [the OM] went to this place” or “[the OM] told me about this”, etc…
Did you ever fight with him? Why?
I know you and him talked a lot of **** about [the OM's wife]. What kinda **** did you and him talk about me?
How often did you sick his ****? Did you ever let him cum in your mouth? How often did you let him go down on you.
Does he think you came every time (or almost) you had sex?
How good was to have sex with him?
What happened the night you stayed with him until 5AM (that you said you slept in the car)
How does it feel to be with a rich man?
Did you and him used to walk holding hands?
Did you feel proud walking with him? For what reason? (he is handsome/ he is in charge, etc…)
He told Tamara that you had had sex with girls. Did you and him ever talk about doing that?
Did you tell him about any of our 3somes and swing club? Did you or him ever mentioned the existence of a swing club in [our city]?
Did he ever give ANY gift to you? Did you give any to him?
When I was in Miami, is it true that you didn’t go anywhere with him other than the game and restaurant?
Did you act like his girlfriend around town? Where and around who?
Did he introduce you to others as his “girlfriend”?
Did you feel like you were a “trophy” girl to him? Did you feel he was a “trophy” to you? Why?( Why yes or why no)
Did you ever go out of town with him? Where, when, why, what did you do?
Did he ever meet my kids? Did you meet his (the ogre)?
Did you ever tell him about how much money I make, our financial problems, or anything like that?
How did you interact with him at the dart games after you decided to not leave me? (Any touching, talking, what subjects of conversation, any reference to the affair, or things you used to do or places you went)
Were you and him open about being together at the games?
Do you think he has a fancy car?
Did he ever drove fast with you in the car? (did you ever thought “he is going too fast”, or told him to drive slower)
Did he ever carried his gun on him (his body, concealed)? Did he ever had it in his car? Have you ever seen his gun?
What kinda clothes did he use after work? How did you like it?
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Thanks yall!
My feeling is that I will only rebuild my self esteem back once I know I am "better" than him (for her). But what if he is?
I wrote a list of questions. Please tell me what is right to as and what is not (some will not make any sense for you, just bear with me. And i'm gonna hide some info, for privacy):
====================================
What was you routine when at his place? And before he got his own place, where did you and him spend time and had sex?
After you came back from the concert in ****(another city), have you ever been with him again? Have you gone somewhere just you and him? Have you kissed him? Sex with him?
When was the last time you had sex with him?
What did you and him talk about your future together? Was he going to support you thru school, including tuition?
When did you break up with him? Did he just agree or did he try to talk you out of it? Did make any (more) promises for the future?
When did he stop contacting you? Did you have to ask him to stop? Did he insisted?
Do you think he has ever cheated on you? (except with [his wife]) Why, did you catch anything suspicious?
After breaking up with him, you kept seeing him as “friend”. Any kiss or sex?
To who in your life did you ever talk about him? For example, “me and [the OM] went to this place” or “[the OM] told me about this”, etc…
Did you ever fight with him? Why?
I know you and him talked a lot of **** about [the OM's wife]. What kinda **** did you and him talk about me?
How often did you sick his ****? Did you ever let him cum in your mouth? How often did you let him go down on you.
Does he think you came every time (or almost) you had sex?
How good was to have sex with him?
What happened the night you stayed with him until 5AM (that you said you slept in the car)
How does it feel to be with a rich man?
Did you and him used to walk holding hands?
Did you feel proud walking with him? For what reason? (he is handsome/ he is in charge, etc…)
He told Tamara that you had had sex with girls. Did you and him ever talk about doing that?
Did you tell him about any of our 3somes and swing club? Did you or him ever mentioned the existence of a swing club in [our city]?
Did he ever give ANY gift to you? Did you give any to him?
When I was in Miami, is it true that you didn’t go anywhere with him other than the game and restaurant?
Did you act like his girlfriend around town? Where and around who?
Did he introduce you to others as his “girlfriend”?
Did you feel like you were a “trophy” girl to him? Did you feel he was a “trophy” to you? Why?( Why yes or why no)
Did you ever go out of town with him? Where, when, why, what did you do?
Did he ever meet my kids? Did you meet his (the ogre)?
Did you ever tell him about how much money I make, our financial problems, or anything like that?
How did you interact with him at the dart games after you decided to not leave me? (Any touching, talking, what subjects of conversation, any reference to the affair, or things you used to do or places you went)
Were you and him open about being together at the games?
Do you think he has a fancy car?
Did he ever drove fast with you in the car? (did you ever thought “he is going too fast”, or told him to drive slower)
Did he ever carried his gun on him (his body, concealed)? Did he ever had it in his car? Have you ever seen his gun?
What kinda clothes did he use after work? How did you like it?
================================================== ====
Thanks yall!