is he still cheating????

hunnybun · 07-08-2011, 01:16 AM

Been married for 23 years,4 years ago he had an affair with some ugly trollop for over a year.just can't get over it,keep thinking of all the betrayal,lies and deceit and how could he do that to our family?

He does'nt help to try and build up my trust,flirts with other women (tho' he says its just being friendly).he chats to women on facebook and plays ''scrabble'' for hours,all with women,says he's not gay thats why he wont play scrabble with men!????

i just can't trust him,he says i'm being paranoid but why is he so thoughtless to my feelings? we constantly row about this.he says i am pushing him away and that he does'nt want to be like this for the rest of his life,think he's trying to use that as an excuse to finish this marriage.he says i hate him and never give him any love or affection.huh,i did before and look where it got me,seems like being a good faithfull wife is a waste of time cos it did'nt stop him before so whats the point? he stays up late EVERY night on his laptop ,hmmmmm i wonder what he's doing? thinks i'm stupid.any words of wisdom would be very much appreciated

thanks people.

Riverside MFT · 07-08-2011, 01:48 AM

Your husband does not have appropriate boundaries when talking with other women (though I am sure you knew that). I would express to him your concerns and let him know that you are unhappy in the marriage. Ask him if he wants this marriage to work out. Tell him that you would rather meet his needs than him having to turn to other women or porn (presumeably).