07-21-2011, 09:52 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Southern California
| | Re: He was sexting with a woman...and a man! Help!
Is he just as devastated and remorseful?
Is he taking any responsibility for what he did or just defending his behavior with the abuse. He is wrong as I was too for looking outside my marriage but he may feel horrible for what he has done which comes with a lot of embarrassment, which is maybe why he is defending himself with the whole abuse thing.
You have been married for 15 years and he just told you that he was abused in his childhood. I agree completely this is not an excuse but something huge especially for a man to admit.
I told my husband 3 weeks ago about an affair I had. It has been the longest 3 weeks of my life but I think in the end because my husband is willing to forgive me and I am willing to do anything to make our marriage better by calling the other man in front of my husband to let him know that my husband is sitting next to me, he knows everything and its over, going to counseling, expressing my remorse, letting my husband have complete access to my phone and computer, checking in with my husband when I leave the house and return, and talking about the affair open and honestly has been helping us.
My individual counselor told that something traumatic like this can result in two things (1) failure and unwillingness to work on it or (2) after time of working on and resolving the problems in the marriage it can be so much better than ever before!!!
I know you are hurt and devastated but in my opinion you shouldn't leave him to deal with the sexual abuse alone. You guys should get individual and marriage counseling to help you thru this.