I disagree. Infidelity has been around since the beginning of time. People choosing to terminate relationships is not going to reduce cheating, IMO. It's rampant and it has been happening for forever. It sucks but it's true.
I feel you. I think its more glamorized now, though. You see it everywhere. People have been overly socialized to it. I think people run with their feelings(instincts), more than their rational(prudence) senses. We're taught now, that we should listen to our feelings more, without regard for anything else-- even if it means at the cost of another persons feelings. At least that's what I think. Peolpe take advantage of this new sense of "empowerment."
Just got a text from OM... says he's sorry, and he's moving soon for a job. Like that's really gonna stop me... he's f@cking scared. Told me they were gonna call it quits already- YEAH RIGHT. If I wouldn't have caught her, this would still be going on right under my nose. I told him to call me... too much of a coward to even talk to me personally... had to send a text.
Yes, they would still have been doing it. Not many "call it quits" based on their feeling guilty and realizing its wrong. I know its still very recent, but have you informed family and friends yet? I know I've already said it already, but I've read too many posts that involve a betrayed person that was too slow in action. Of course, you're ending of your relationship is certainly the most powerful and decisive action.
Anyways, I want to ask you, when you two talked, did she say any other reasons besides "exciting sex"? Was she feeling that she was missing something from your relationship? In time, when you reflect back on this, perhaps you can learn something positive to carry over into a new relationship. However, sometimes people cheat simply because they want to, without feeling that they're "missing something".
did she say any other reasons besides "exciting sex"?
It wasn't about "exciting sex," it was about the thrill of it- the secretiveness; the hiding; the "naughtiness of it. She said she doesn't love him in ANY way. There was no emotion involved- it was the "taboo" factor. As she was telling me this, I was getting more and more angry about it because of the way she was describing the total disconnect of emotions. She threw it(us) all away for a cheap thrill... my love for her was worth exactly that- a cheap thrill.
As to your point about exposure. I'm writing a carefully worded text about the situation, and I'm sending it out sometime tommorrow. I've gathered enough evidence, so he or she can't call me crazy or anything like that. The OM's cousin- she hangs out with us also- actually called me up and asked what was going on. She was just feeling me out, because she asked what I was planning to do about him. I said nothing to her about my intentions toward him, as I don't want to incriminate myself beforehand. I mean... do these people think I'm stupid, or something... like I was gonna tell her anything concerning that issue. Those people are dead to me, for all I care. I don't want anything to do with them anymore.
Ask the doctor's office how long the results take.
I disagree. Infidelity has been around since the beginning of time. People choosing to terminate relationships is not going to reduce cheating, IMO. It's rampant and it has been happening for forever. It sucks but it's true.
Each individual must do what they see best fit for them. Some folks stay together, others call it a day once it's discovered.
I disagree with u jellybeans bigbri didn't say it'll put an end to infidelity he said it'll reduced it very much and I agree him for this based on my country situation as I told before we have infidelity for sure but based on statistics only 5-8 women out of 100 will do it and for men 13-15 out of 100 because they know the really hard consequences for their action the infidelity will always be there but how much will do it is the right question to ask
Bri- once the truth comes out, that's the foundation for being able to move on in Life. I think it applies to everything, not just infidelity. I Think you're definitely making the right call, not only to protect against them spinning t against you, but for picking yourself up after being knocked down.
Your friends, some may "take sides", some may not. Those who are available to support you through this, and want to, I would not turn them away. The males may thank you, for pointing out to them that this OM cannot be trusted. As for the ex, once the information goes out, be ready for lots of phone calls. You have the evidence which was a good step by you, so they can't debate this with you. Once it's out, I'd tell family and friends that you exposed for the truth to be known and to help you move on in life, not necessarily for revenge. But, moving on and living well while leaving the cheater behind can be the best way to feel a sense of justice being done for you. Posted via Mobile Device
I disagree with u jellybeans bigbri didn't say it'll put an end to infidelity he said it'll reduced it very much
I didn't say it will put an end to infidelity. I said relationships being terminated is not going to reduce cheating because it's rampant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigBri
The OM's cousin- she hangs out with us also- actually called me up and asked what was going on. She was just feeling me out, because she asked what I was planning to do about him.
I think OM is afraid of you. It's interesting how he has his cousin calling you to find out what the deal is since he can't do it himself. Did he ever text you back? Have you heard from your ex girlfriend since you told her to leave?
[QUOTE=Jellybeans;383880]I didn't say it will put an end to infidelity. I said relationships being terminated is not going to reduce cheating because it's rampant.
Dealing with bad consequences will reduce it back that what i mean and think bri meant that too
sure, just like how the war on drugs is effective...
People should have the right to make their own choices in relationships- guiding/advising them is fine, but to pigeon hole every situation into one answer will never work effectively
I think OM is afraid of you. It's interesting how he has his cousin calling you to find out what the deal is since he can't do it himself. Did he ever text you back? Have you heard from your ex girlfriend since you told her to leave?
I know. Funny isn't it. I can't believe he actually thought I was gonna believe him when he said they were gonna call it quits just before I caught them... am I some kind of DUMB@SS, or something? Then, to use his cousin as some kind of go-between... makes me want to slap her too. She could've said- "Be a man and do it yourself." Right? I KNOW she new about this... I could feel it in her tone... she was fishing. I haven't heard from her, but my other friend and his GF(we're mutual friends) told me she went over there and was still in shock about me sending her on her way.
Oh... and I just sent the text. I know that by this afternoon, my phone is gonna be blowin' up.
Re: Just another statistic. 
