For an update - it appears my wife has gotten a secondary 'secret' email account and has changed her phone password. I hadnt been checking her phone or anything, but the other night we were out - I was at the atm getting cash. While I had my back turned she whipped out her phone, looked at it, typed something, then put it back very quickly before I was done. (I saw in the atm mirror) At dinner I situated us where her back was to the bathroom.. I excused myself and went to the bathroom.. then came back quietly to see that she was using email - I noted the name on the email (it was the OM) Her primary email address has no such email. Im assuming she got a new email account, then deleted all traces of getting it from her present email. She has been very very sly about using email on her phone only when I am not in the room, or gone.
She no longer uses her laptop at all for email - just her phone. She has gone so far as to turn off wifi when she checks her email from the phone. Pretty much, just gone deep under cover. All for some married dude who is twice her age.. I havent confronted her about anything yet. I am waiting for a good time to seize assets, close the bank account, turn off phone and insurance. For now she thinks we are 'in recovery doing fine!' but we are not. Im working on a scheme to retrieve his cell number via social engineering, and with that I should be able to gain all the knowledge I need to ruin his marriage too. Right now, I am trying to figure out how I can grab the data from her iphone 4 without knowing the passcode. Not sure how, since she sleeps with her head ON the phone and brings the laptop to work with her every day. Its funny, she has been bringing the laptop to work for the last week or two - but looking at the laptop - she has not used it at all.. Its like she is just keeping it from me. Anyway.. if anyone has any clue on how to take a backup of a passcoded iphone - let me know.. Im not sure HOW Im going to get it out of her clutches for 20 minutes.
Location: Temporary Resident of Earth Lord Only Knows Where Next
Posts: 5,597
Re: Wife having an EA..
Sorry to hear this. If she won't end the relationship then it is time to end the marriage. Exposure may be the only tool left for recovery or it may just be a parting blow. At this point sounds like you've had enough and I certainly can understand that. Keep you emotions in check and take the high road with her. Sorry, can't help you with the iPhone. Good luck.
I would move a fast pace, when she is asleep simply take the phone, switch it off and hide it away. You dont need any further evidence so don't fret about it. Move the assets fast and as you have both a WW and an OM to deal with I suggest you a few things, prep an exposure to a large group of your wifes friends and family , mentioning the affair her commitment to the marriage and her taking it underground. I recall you saying you sent the OM's company a letter. What you want is a listing of all their directors and a well worded factual letter sent via fedex or such like to them all cc them all openly on the master copy. Send a copy to him as well . Use the template exposure letter as it was written in such a way that there is no legal reprecussion to you.
I think you will have to hire a PI to follow OM home.
Don't take to long to expose , catch as many of his coworkers or family as you can in the exposure.
I am sure we don't have to tell you to be cool, calm and collected.
It is normal for most waywards to take it underground , the affair has to die because they want it to die, don't blink say little do lots. Posted via Mobile Device
Is the phone in your name? You can try calling AT&T and say your teen son put on a password by accident and see if they can reset your phone, it worked for my xbox (when my sin accidentally set a parental password but I proved i was the owner) Posted via Mobile Device
See if you can get a duplicate laptop and put a message on it for when she turns it on, saying that you found out that she is STILL in contact with the OM, etc..., then switch it for when she goes out in the morning. Maybe you can do it with the cell, too.
Is the phone in your name? You can try calling AT&T and say your teen son put on a password by accident and see if they can reset your phone, it worked for my xbox (when my sin accidentally set a parental password but I proved i was the owner) Posted via Mobile Device
I dont think they can do that. Im going to try and take it while she sleeps, but that may be difficult as she basically sleeps with it under her pillow. Im fairly sure I can get a backup of it - even with a passcode. If I can, I can get all of her keychain info as well since I have a keychain breaker.
How about sitting her down and saying clearly to her: "You agreed to full transparency. I've noticed your phone once again has a password, and you're not showing it to me. You've got a choice. Hand me the phone, or leave the house. We are either working on this marriage, or it is over. It is in your hands. Which do you choose?"
No games, so secrecy, nothing else other than calling her bluf.
Tell her that you've done what you can to end the EA, but she didn't put any effort into it. So now she can leave, get a new phone and carry on with him. But you, you're done.
Can you pull the sim card out and make a copy so you have time to crack it? But, I think you're getting too caught up in CSI. I think you need to sit her down and say let me see it all right or your refusal to do so says enough and go pack. There's only one reason to keep a secret from your spouse...
Maybe it's time to walk out the door and give her a taste of GTFO?
Sometimes it takes a hard hand to make people realize that it's my way or out the door. My wife had to do that before I even heard a word she was saying to me. When you're presented with GTFO out my life and don't ever come back, you start listening pretty fast at that point.
If you saw the OM's name on her phone when she was using the e-mail what more evidence do you need, NC is NC, no exceptions.
If she walks out because you're setting boundries to help your marriage then you know your answer from her of what she wants from your marriage, and it's not you. If she stays and gives full access then you know she wants to work on the marriage.
BTW, you saw, you have evidence and you did nothing. You just went back to being the ignorant chump again, gratz to you I guess?
YOU HAVE THE EVIDENCE, YOU SAW THE OM's NAME ON THE PHONE YOURSELF, what other proof do you need.
So, are you just gonna bury your head in the sand and give the BS excuse that you need time to research and find more proof, or are you gonna grab your balls and take back control.
Re: Wife having an EA.. 
