If I were in your shoes, I would see that as a sign.
I am not a person who tries to tell people to give up marriages. Not at all. But in your case...
1) you said your W was selfish, and everything she buys is for her, resented you getting a car but has no problem with you buying her one.
2) you said she demands you compliment her, etc, yet she never compliments you, etc.
3) you said she has serious issues about her self esteem, to the point your lives are always about her
4) despite you taking very good care of her child, she talks to other men behind your back
5) you confronted her, showed her the email evidence, she moved out for awhile, stayed with parents who didn't tell her what she wanted to hear, so she came back to try to work things out and go NC
6) when she thought she was safe again, she went behind your back again, took further precautions to hide it, lied about her actions AGAIN, even after you gave her another chance
7) and NOW, you get a job offer 200 miles away that increases your pay 38%, in one of the worst economies we've ever seen in the US.
You have a perfect additional out. If it were me, I would hold off on taking the job (if this is possible) until maybe a day or two before you pull the rug out from under her, as you say. Then tell her, "And by the way, I got a job offer in (said city). I start in 2 weeks (or whatever). I'll be moving there here pretty soon. I've given you a chance to come clean and work this out, but you've decided not to, so I have to move on."
Then, ignore her immediate pleas for you to reconsider, and do it. You can't listen to anything she says for a few days. Once you move there, she will be a total wreck. Her security blanket is gone. The man she has been USING is gone, and her parents won't take her side. They'll likely let her live with them though, if anything, for the sake of their grandson.
At that point, she may tell you how sorry she is, and want to follow you to where you are. You can say, "Well, I don't know. You've broken my trust so many times. I'll have to think about it." Make her beg and meet very strict conditions for going there with you, if you even want her there at that.
I realize this is easier said than done, but I believe things happen for a reason, and this job is a sign.
Sounds great and all, but my stomach is in knots.. I applied for the job on a whim - not really wanting to move so far away from my friends, and I love the job Im at now.. I know for a fact, if I take the job, she will not move with me and that will be that.
I know for a fact, if I take the job, she will not move with me and that will be that.
There is a higher chance that once you expose her affair she won't be your wife. You are thinking like a pre-affair spouse , your wife is in an affair, that changes all the dynamics and everything is on the table, especially your future well being.
There is a higher chance that once you expose her affair she won't be your wife. You are thinking like a pre-affair spouse , your wife is in an affair, that changes all the dynamics and everything is on the table, especially your future well being.
I just mean that once she comes to her senses, which I dont think will take very long - since the guy lives so far away, and she will see how good she had it with me - we will have practically no chance of reconciliation if I move.
I just mean that once she comes to her senses, which I dont think will take very long - since the guy lives so far away, and she will see how good she had it with me - we will have practically no chance of reconciliation if I move.
A spouse who wants reconciliation will move heaven and earth to be with her Husband
A spouse who wants reconciliation will move heaven and earth to be with her Husband
Not going to happen.. she is more addicted to this 'relationship' than I think most crack heads are.. SHe emails first thing in the morning and right before going to sleep.. for example, they have exchanged 32 emails today already.. and its only 11:30.
Im seeing that she has a serious personality disorder. We were sitting on the couch and I was looking at my phone checking some work emails and she actually had the nerve to act jealous and ask what I was doing on my phone.
This situation is so messed up.
She also lied to her BEST friend about it.. she went to her and told her that she was 'talking to someone' and I found out about it. The friend got pissed at her and said things like 'Im really disappointed in you, and you really shouldnt be married if this is how you want to act' and 'the thought of you cheating makes me sick' So she sort of backtracked saying 'oh well I was just talking, he's just a friend, and my H spied on me and got jealous and took it the wrong way - its nothing romantic or anything' SHe actually said 'its not like i sent him naked pictures or anything'.. Wow.. just wow. it appears - from her text messages - that she has only told her best friend and one other person. Both of whom she has lied to about the severity of it.
Not going to happen.. she is more addicted to this 'relationship' than I think most crack heads are.. SHe emails first thing in the morning and right before going to sleep.. for example, they have exchanged 32 emails today already.. and its only 11:30.
Im seeing that she has a serious personality disorder. We were sitting on the couch and I was looking at my phone checking some work emails and she actually had the nerve to act jealous and ask what I was doing on my phone.
This situation is so messed up.
She also lied to her BEST friend about it.. she went to her and told her that she was 'talking to someone' and I found out about it. The friend got pissed at her and said things like 'Im really disappointed in you, and you really shouldnt be married if this is how you want to act' and 'the thought of you cheating makes me sick' So she sort of backtracked saying 'oh well I was just talking, he's just a friend, and my H spied on me and got jealous and took it the wrong way - its nothing romantic or anything' SHe actually said 'its not like i sent him naked pictures or anything'.. Wow.. just wow. it appears - from her text messages - that she has only told her best friend and one other person. Both of whom she has lied to about the severity of it.
maybe set her friend straight, she could be a good ally
At this point IMHO, you need to let her go, from what I am reading from your posts only hard reality will knock her out of this
You cannot compete with a fantasy , you will never win
I don't want to tell you what to do as this is solely your decision but in you are enabling her to some extent by staying with her
I know it is hard but you will never win like that
At this point IMHO, you need to let her go, from what I am reading from your posts only hard reality will knock her out of this
You cannot compete with a fantasy , you will never win
I don't want to tell you what to do as this is solely your decision but in you are enabling her to some extent by staying with her
I know it is hard but you will never win like that
If I'm you I take the job - like I said, it's a sign. Maybe this woman will learn from this massive mistake and fix it for her next relationship.
Part of the strategy to break the affair is to be honest, telling the truth - not a diluted version, telling her friend the absolute truth protects you. There is no need to delay this part, don't mention she is still in the affair but do set the record straight. To move forward you must assume your marriage is over, this attitude does not mean it is or you do not want to reconcile , what is does do is let you understand that you have lost her and either she goes and you are able to move on with your life or she decides to reconcile on the marriage terms.
Fight for your marriage but expect and plan for a divorce. Posted via Mobile Device
I wish I could stop watching her email.. its making me sick.. she is at work, and is taking lunch.. she asks him to call her at lunch and he says 'im getting hard thinking about it' ugh.. so she is going to take lunch and have phone sex, I guess.. But she tells me she is super busy at work and cant talk to me - she is super busy because she is emailing this guy so much.
I need to just stop looking, its doing nothing but making my stomach churn.
How much more time do you need , you have all the evidence you need. Call him before the lunch, something like " I am only going to tell you once to leave my wife alone , any more contact between you two and I will ensure your life will be turned upside down."
Polite no threats , then text you wife and ask how her sex session is going with her F&£kb@&y thereafter call her parents and expose her ongoing affair tell them you have hard evidence and ask them to call her , include her co-workers in an exposure .
The above sounds harsh , the risk you take now is you are standing by whereas if you confront now the weekend is here giving you time to determine what to do next. Posted via Mobile Device
I need to just stop looking, its doing nothing but making my stomach churn.
Snooping to see if a spouse is in an affair is one thing. Continuing to do so after knowing is just plain self-torture. Trust me, I was addicted to the spy game at one point. It did nothing to help.
Snooping to see if a spouse is in an affair is one thing. Continuing to do so after knowing is just plain self-torture. Trust me, I was addicted to the spy game at one point. It did nothing to help.
well verification after R is valid for a time period
Re: Wife having an EA.. 
