Okay im going to ask a question to everyone please respond honestly ....

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 09:56 AM

myself and my wife had a blowout this morning in regards to something i had asked her it was a question and i would like everyones honest opinion on it ...my wife has alot of male friends which i dont have a problem with however what i dont like and i think is dissrepectful is the time that some of these friends conme over our house do you honest people think it is right for a male friend of my wife to come over to my house @ 2am 3am or so to hang out and for my wife not to give me at least a heads up that someone is in our house with my wife alone at these hours?? see i work third shift and i dont mind this honestly but would at least like to have a heads up about it it becomes very odd to just show up from work at lunch time and just have people hanging out in our house at these hours? what do you guys think should she at least tell me people are in our house at these times? also this new friend my wife has tries to avoid me at all cost she says its because he doesnt want to get involved in our seperation but i always feel its more to hide **** behind my back what would your views be on this answer honestly and i would like both responses from males and females am i insecure or should i at least be entitled to know about these things seeing it is my wife and our home?

thanks

CPT

voivod · 11-14-2008, 10:07 AM

uh, no, i don't think it's appropriate for a man to come over to your house at 2 or 3 in the morning for any reason. maybe you don't have a problem with it, but i would.

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 10:18 AM

lol problem voivod is i alreay know where this thread is going to go i jsut wanted to make sure i wasnt being a selfish a-hole! thats all!

Blanca · 11-14-2008, 01:31 PM

ya i wouldnt even be comfortable with my H having girls over at 2 or 3 in the afternoon if i wasnt home. albeit any honest intentions, i just dont think its smart to play with fire.

swedish · 11-14-2008, 02:19 PM

and the same one who's pants you saw on the floor of the room where is staying? If she wants to work on your marriage, she needs to put her focus on the two of you right now vs. partying with guys in the middle of the night.

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 03:00 PM

nope mommy different guy this was one of her friends from before i was just trying to show how dissrepectful it made me feel but alas im the a-hole here so says she i was like okay your feelings mater and mine dont sounds fair to me lol she just texted me and said everything was over and she was done lol i said okay thank you for reading my text ill talk to you when you calm down have a nice night lol kill them with kindness wisw person once told me you cant clap and appluade if olny one hand is clapping catch my drift lol

voivod · 11-14-2008, 03:03 PM

so her crap is finished, right? no more BS side relationship, right?

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 03:06 PM

swedish im trying like hell but i dont think she isa ever going to come around ive already excepted what may happen at this point and im not going to let it bother me i will know if this is the end that i gave everything and i wont go through the rest of my life saying what if to myself funny thing just happened my wedding ring just tapped the keyboard as i was typing lol yup still on even today never took it off sometimes wonder with all im going through why i never took it off? but i know as long as i stay positive and keep trying i know change someones mood around my by staying positive cant be negative because all it will do is bring down the house she might not say anything to me but she will wonder like hell why this isnt getting to me and starting a fight like before oh well her loss if she doesnt coome around and find not only the same guy she fell in love with but a better newer revived me that someone else may love at some point when im ready to move on if things dont work out

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 03:09 PM

no vod shes still hanging out with the douce bag even had his truck this moring lol but i dont know whats going on lol

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 03:10 PM

when she said she was done she was talking about filing for a divorce because she couldnt put up with the **** anymore

voivod · 11-14-2008, 03:26 PM

has this guy EVER has his a$$ kicked before?

swedish · 11-14-2008, 03:37 PM

Well, if she is still hanging out with him, she's not putting your marriage in any position to work on...no matter how hard you try, she will continue to flip-flop unless she really shifts her thinking to working on your marriage (meaning both of you...not you bending over backwards and putting up with her running around like a single party girl)

As difficult and crazy as things are right now, do your best to keep moving forward with your self-improvement plans. Don't give her any so called #$%^ to put up with...you don't need to get sucked into the emotional drama of it all as far as what she is doing or with whom...she is making poor decisions and when you get upset with her (and rightfully so) it is just fueling her reasons for wanting out, so don't make it an easy decision. If she's going to make the decision to end the marriage, let her do it seeing you as a good man doing his best for his son, and leave her to think about how she has been behaving lately. If she can still be good with her decision, you are better off moving on.

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 03:38 PM

not sure but i would love to do it but i have my son to worry about his dad doesnt need to be in jail besides im a hell of a better person than that misery breeds company i always say they can have each other ive had less headaches in the last two months beleive me she really needs to grow up alot!

voivod · 11-14-2008, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CPT CONFUSED

not sure but i would love to do it but i have my son to worry about his dad doesnt need to be in jail besides im a hell of a better person than that misery breeds company i always say they can have each other ive had less headaches in the last two months beleive me she really needs to grow up alot!

y'know, after one of my infamous fights, i had a judge tell me, "when you and i were growing up Mr. (my name), we used to fight it out and the cops would take us home. today Mr. (me), you're going to jail. welcome to 1991."

that was the last time i fought. doesn't mean i can't put the scare into someone who deserves it. and mr. crappy truck deserves it.

CPT CONFUSED · 11-14-2008, 05:30 PM

sad thing vod is it would be to damn easy he hides from me like a little kid that just pissed his pants and is about sit on santas lap wouldnt be much fun anyway i would at least want him to try to fight back but am afraid he might smear his lipstick lol its all about me and my son right now bud taking care of him is all that matters to me right now his mom will come around sooner or later on a good note i did find a place to move to tonight due to the sale of our house i start moving monday so one less stressful thing to worry about keep your head up bud like i always say....."I WILL SAVE MY MARRAIGE" it might not be right now but someday i will win in the end