ismile_kraye

Long story cut really short. I have been married over a year. I knew something was up with my husband, he had almost no sexual appetite, would untag facebook photos, delete my post, and then I would recv harassing msg from other people stating he was cheating but no real pics or names. In all of this my husband would tell me he was not into sex due to being so tired from his day and night job which i understood. But he when I asked about why I was getting msgs I was crazy and ruining the marriage. I didnt want to "see" us happy and I was letting "people" get in the way. I was harassed for months on end and my husband got to the pt were he would tell me to shut up about it and would tell other pple like our parents I was lying and not being a good wife. Low and behold a lady shows up to my door step pregnant, he tells me it is true and she gets an abortion. So I stay and try to work things out well I find out he is still talking to the woman after I caught him at her apt. He then decides to leave "me" and tells me we are getting a divorce. I lawyer up and start preparing. Well a few weeks later he ask me to reconsider on the same day he has told the other woman he has filed for divorce and leaving me. Once I found this out i then filed all necessary paperwork for the divorce because he clearly did not want the marriage 5 days later I took a test and found out I was pregnant. He still chose not to come home saying that I needed to work on myself and not be worried about him and the marriage. He has still not made an effort to man up and do the right thing and he still says that everything was my fault and if I wouldnt have filed for a divorce then things would be different. I am so confused and hurt I hate that he has made everything my fault and he sleeps just fine at night and I cant stop crying and dont know how not to be angry everything has happened so fast I am just at a lost and beyond depressed.

jnj express

Get your divorce---and make sure you get, full custody, alimony, and child support---and if he doesn't pay, throw is butt in jail----This kind of crap should not be happening to you, one year into a mge----you do not wanna spend one more day with him, and do not let him drama queen his way back into your life

greeneyedky

I Agree 1000%
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Jellybeans

He sounds like a whiny b!tch. He gets someone else pregnant, blames you for his cheating, tells you he wants a divorce, leaves you, then you file/give him what he wants, and he tells you how if you wouldn't have filed things would be different?

He sounds like a soap opera diva.

Divorce him and be the best mom you can be for your child. File for child support.

He is a little boy.

dojo

So sorry to hear about this

As the previous commenters said: get a divorce and make sure he's paying for this child for the rest of his life. I just can't understand what miserable man could do this.

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PHTlump

First, you need to tell your lawyer to pursue full custody and child support. Take care of your child.

Second, you need to work on yourself. You had overwhelming evidence from day one that your husband was cheating. You lacked either the will power or the self respect to force the issue. You need to stop playing the victim. By accepting the flimsiest excuses and overlooking his behavior, you were a partner in his affairs. There's a reason people say, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." He fooled you twice, or ten times. So work on developing some backbone so that your next relationship will be with an equal partner.

michzz

Hey! Don't slur little boys. He's a full grown stooge.

Little boys are innocent of his transgressions.

But I do agree, protect yourself and your baby. You need a good lawyer.

ismile_kraye

I don't believe I am playing a victim at all. I will not believe people who choose 2 hide behind a computer screen you tell me you would believe your spouse is cheating based upon childish antics I don't think so. Pressing the issue is exactly what I did but when someone continues 2 deny something & I have no proof all I could is accept what he had 2 say. And fyi this happened in a matter of weeks, she showed up 1 week got an abortion the next, he said his I'm sorrys & then 2 weeks after I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. I don't think I am responsible at all for his actions HE is a man & HE decides what he will & will not do. Yes I do need 2 improve on myself in many areas but to say I was a partner in his affairs is bs. That is a cop out and the same excuse of "you drove me to cheat". Everyone in life has a choice & he choice to cheat. Had nothing to do w/what I did/or did not do.
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ismile_kraye

I do have a lawyer a great one. I am in texas and can not file for alimony because we have not been married long enough. But I will seek custody & child support for the baby, I just need my own closure & need to know "where to go from here" emotionally & spiritually.
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PHTlump

Obviously, you are free to disregard my advice. When you go to a message board and ask advice from strangers based on a short summation of your story, the advice you get may not be appropriate. You can't communicate every relevant piece of information. The advice we give will change with more information.

From your message, I concluded that your year-long marriage was beset from the beginning with evidence of your husband's infidelity. If that's not the case, then my advice is not appropriate.

And other women contacting you to tell you that your husband is cheating on you is not "no proof". It's very strong proof. I understand that this happened on a much shorter time frame than your initial message indicated, but I still say that inaction when faced with evidence of infidelity is not a good plan.

I don't think betrayed spouses are to blame for the affairs their spouses have, unless the betrayed spouses have overwhelming evidence of those affairs and choose to ignore or excuse their spouses' behavior. Since you say that's not your situation, then just lawyer up and move on with your life.

Good luck.

AFEH

Well said ismile_kraye.

AFEH

Well you have a whole mix of very powerful emotions to sort out somehow or another. If it is really and truly over for you then you will grieve. You will grieve what you thought you had in your marriage and what you thought your life was going to be like. I think it will really help you to research the grieving process, so you will know what it is you are going through.

It’s good that you are spiritually aware as well. You will find comfort in quite places and quite times. During the first week of my separation I filled my whole living room with candles and lit incense sticks, it was really comforting for me.

sexuallyfustrated

Hi just wanted to ck on you and see how you where. Be blessed.

PrivateTalk

WOW, you need to take this prick for EVERYTHING he has and ever will have that should be a great reminder to keep his **** in his pants from then on

So sorry that you are going though this but stick with your lawyer and don't bend to him, think of his actions you didn't deserve this and don't feel bad for getting what should be due to you. luck.