Berilo, thanks for the update.
I haven't heard from her in almost 48 hours.
Please forgive me for being flip but your W -- like my exW -- gives new meaning to the expression, "No news is good news."
No response. Is she celebrating, disintegrating, out with OM to distract herself, trying to outwait me, plotting some counter-attack, or what?
Does it matter? I mean, seriously? No matter what a BPDer is plotting, thinking, or scheming today, everything can easily change 180 degrees next week -- or even tomorrow. Being unable to control their emotions, they go with the whim of whatever intense feeling is sweeping through their minds at the moment. Instead of challenging that feeling intellectually, they accept it as truth. This is why I always advise "Nons" to not fret and worry about what a BPDer is thinking or planning at this particular moment in time. It will quickly change.
And this is why, despite all their attempts to manipulate and control their partners, BPDers are not very good at manipulation. They are too reactive to their current feelings. For manipulation to be effective, good planning and flawless execution are required -- both of which are usually undone by a BPDer's lack of impulse control. Instead of manipulation, you are more likely to see controlling and opportunistic behavior -- where your W sees an opportunity suddenly present itself that enables her to take advantage of you.
Once again, the weirdness of all this is really wearing on me.
Yes, that "weirdness" of seeing what-you-believed-to-be-your-soul-mate
turn on you and betray you is so familiar to all of us Nons who were in a BPDer relationship. That's why BPDcentral -- at BPD Central - borderline personality disorder resources - support
-- calls its forum "Welcome to Oz." (Another great BPD forum targeted to us Nons is BPDfamily, which I mentioned earlier.) That otherworldly feeling of waking up to find the world turned upside down will rapidly diminish over time, if you heal at the rate I did. In my case, however, it has never disappeared entirely. Instead, the feeling just occurs farther and farther apart. So I still have rare days -- five years post separation -- of feeling that way.