I been thinking about your post all day. I think its funny that she said you are a poor communicator. From your posts it seems like you are very articulate. She probably means that you fail her manipulation and dont fall into her bizaro world arguements. Do you think she flipped out on you on the later phone call because she was reflecting on the previous conversations that day and was frustrated that she wasnt getting the reaction she wanted.
Do you think any guy will stick around very long once they see the bizarro woman a time or two.
Calm seas and following winds.
Thank you very much, BambooScot.
I think her allegation that I "don't communicate", "can't talk", etc., is really a combination of things: 1) as you say, it's because I didn't fall for her manipulation any more -- the buttons she would press just wouldn't work, which frustrated her no end; 2) call me a guy (pace
OldWolf), but I dislike faux emotion, the display or provocation of positive or negative emotion from anyone over age 13 that is significantly disproportionate to any reasonable and sympathetic interpretation of what is really going on. I just don't react much in these situations; 3) she was so needy, requiring constant attention (like calling me during business meetings just to chat) -- I often didn't pick up; and 4) since many conversations weren't that, they just devolved into a unilateral arraignment of my supposed infractions or shortcomings, I just entered a plea of "no contest" and got up to fetch myself a coffee or glass of wine.
I think she flipped out on the second phone call because, as I believe Uptown will confirm, people with this kind of disorder cannot sustain "normal", balanced, warm feelings about their partner for very long. I think she started to feel either "engulfed" by a very nice moment (kind of like the "good days") which threatened her, so she had to push back; OR my conduct didn't follow her negative mental "script" of who I am, so she had to create a situation where I could be force-fit back into my role as the bad guy. This is a rinse cycle I have been immersed in too many times.
And I agree that my "lucky" successors probably won't last even as long as I did: they will surely flee when they open the gorgeous matryoshka doll two or three sets and see the revealed bizarro woman glaring at them. I had to laugh during our last coffee session. She was at the café early and was on a very involved conversation when I arrived. I caught some fragments of the conversation when I first sat down and then got the coffee. I pretended to work on my laptop for a few minutes, suppressing a wry chortle all the while, to see what I could learn. She was working someone over for some perceived shortcoming or slight, and it did not at all sound like a colleague. And it was delivered in that intimate tone that I know she never uses on casual friends or colleagues (she is the very picture of even sweetness in those). The clincher was that she got up and went outside for a minute, no doubt to deliver the punch-lines to the poor bugger. When she returned, she began to stammer an explanation. I just smiled and said, "hey, no problem, this gave me a good chance to check out the stock market -- did you see what Apple is doing today?"