KaydensMommy

Hello! Im new to this thread, My name is Taylor and I just wanted to write in to get some advice on my situation. Now Ive been with my fiance for 8 years now and just recently since he started his new job, he hasnt been coming home until late late like 4am or 5am. He says he is out with his friend Sean but when I ask him what they have been doing he will say walking around or just talking. Talking for 4 hours.. uh huh. He also recently started lying to me and going to the bars with the people from work. He won't answer my texts or calls when he is out and Im sitting home worrying because he didnt even tell me he was going out after work. Now if I did that he would have a fit. I am 8 months pregnant right now just to add that in and this is alot of stress. He does work two jobs, which is his choice (two restaurant jobs) one of his jobs does close at 1am which he should be home by 2am the latest because I know how restaurants run (ive worked at plenty) So last week we ended up getting cell phone by metro pcs (pre paid) and I snooped through his phone and found a number under his work name which was not his work number bc i called it and it was a girl. I didnt want to tell him I snooped bc that looks shady but I confronted him about it. He said it was his kitchen managers so I let it slide but yesterday my gut was telling me to check it again and I did and he had txt messages sent back and forth with her! I didnt get to read them all because he came barging in and ripped the phone out of my hand. I started crying because the texts that I did read were from her stating "you turned my frown upside down" and a smiley face. So then he finally came out with it and said that he is under lots of stress and its nice to actually talk to someone else about his problems thats a girl. But Idk I dont talk to any guys like this.. thats why we have friends of our own gender. He also deletes his text messages everyday and always has his phone by his side. I just dont know what to do. The manager obv knows he has a baby on the way and a girlfriend but I think something shady is going on between them. I told him that I want him in this relationship 100% or we are going to end it. Of course he says he wants only me but I just thinks its BS bc he wouldn't be talking to her. Please give me some insight on what to do.

PHTlump

If you are serious, that he is either totally committed to you or you will leave, then you need to enforce that ultimatum. The behavior you mention is all classic red flags for affairs.

He needs to give you access to his phone, Facebook, email, etc. You should know who he is talking to and who he is with. He will likely balk (again classic behavior) and tell you that you're being too controlling, etc.

If you need 100% proof, then get a voice-activated recorder and stash it under the seat of his car. You probably won't need to wait long until he incriminates himself.

Then bust him with your proof and kick him out.

Good luck.

sigma1299

PHT is right - you know you have an issue or you wouldn't be here. If what he is saying to this OW is completely platonic, why won't he let you see it? Better yet why did he freak and rip his phone out of your hand? What's he hiding? Until you confront him with overwhelming proof, he'll likely try to gas light you (convince you are crazy/too controlling) don't let him. Stick to your guns. Lots of help here if you need it - hopefully you won't. Good Luck.