I'm thinking I keep my mouth shut, enjoy the trip with my kids and surprise her with D papers on Xmas.
I like this one. I'd get a huge box- like if it was a big gift- fill its contents with the divorce papers, wrap it up with a nice bow and all and give it to her last minute. As soon as she opens it, and looks at the documents you whisper in her ear "I know about OM3 & OM4... Merry Christmas."
Walt,
Your doing a solid for the kids, right on dude, I bet it will be tough but just keep repeating to your self that its not about her any more but this trip is for the kids.
Face it, physicaly she will be on the trip, but we all know she will be neck deep with her cell and all her text. So as shes texting away take the kids and do things and let her know you will meet up with at such and such a place and go out.
I can only hope she puts her texting on hold and " does it for the kids" not likely but at this point does it matter if she sit on the beach all day by her self while you build sand castle with the kids, for that matter she can sit in the room all day while you enjoy your time with the kids....It really doesn't matter at this point.
So go have fun with the kids and leave her to her vises,its not even worth the effort. Let her be. It will be her choice to join the family....you just go out and have fun with the youngens, while she sinks her self deeper and deeper.
Remember to keep track of her time spend with the texting versus time spent with the kids. It may not matter but itmay come in handy to have that ammo.
Walt,
Your doing a solid for the kids, right on dude, I bet it will be tough but just keep repeating to your self that its not about her any more but this trip is for the kids.
Face it, physicaly she will be on the trip, but we all know she will be neck deep with her cell and all her text. So as shes texting away take the kids and do things and let her know you will meet up with at such and such a place and go out.
I can only hope she puts her texting on hold and " does it for the kids" not likely but at this point does it matter if she sit on the beach all day by her self while you build sand castle with the kids, for that matter she can sit in the room all day while you enjoy your time with the kids....It really doesn't matter at this point.
So go have fun with the kids and leave her to her vises,its not even worth the effort. Let her be. It will be her choice to join the family....you just go out and have fun with the youngens, while she sinks her self deeper and deeper.
Remember to keep track of her time spend with the texting versus time spent with the kids. It may not matter but itmay come in handy to have that ammo.
Thanks. I'm hoping I have the strength to pull it off.
I just got home to an empty house. Kids are at a friends house, WW is at a charity event (no OMs there). Anyway, I felt like crying as I came in. My anxiety just jumped 10X. I need to get this under control.
After speaking w/my IC and a friend who went through a D recently, they both advised I think with my head and hold off exposure until I can get my game plan together vs. the emotional response of telling her to fvck off.
I need to get the attorney lined up and move some money around so she can't get to it. I want to figure out which credit cards I can/should cancel and how to manage paying bills.
I think the trip is a bad idea. You think you can keep your emotions in check but if you can't then you tip her off before you can get your finances in order for the D. My advice is to cancel the trip, get your house in order and then have her served the divorce papers at one of the charity events she seems to hold so dear. Then contact the OMW and let them know what is going on.
I think the trip is a bad idea. You think you can keep your emotions in check but if you can't then you tip her off before you can get your finances in order for the D. My advice is to cancel the trip, get your house in order and then have her served the divorce papers at one of the charity events she seems to hold so dear. Then contact the OMW and let them know what is going on.
I should have most of it done by Tue. The lawyer can help me with the rest. Posted via Mobile Device
Separation after D-day almost always spells divorce. She's going through what looks like a female MLC where she's desperate for outside male validation of her desirability as a woman, that she doesn't care that it is going to cost her marriage and her family.
Don't be surprised if she has a mental breakdown later on. It happened to my ex-wife a year and half after our divorce became finalized, it just happened to oldmitten's wife after he filed for divorce, it happened recently to Badblood's wife, Ahhhhman's ex-wife and I have no doubt that it will happen to other women as well who follow a similar path. I hope that you can convince your stbxw to get professional help not just for her well being but that of her children as well. As much as it may seem like the karma justice bus running over them, it is a terrible thing to witness the destruction of someone who we once loved above all others.
Never reveal your game plan, I heard this many of time on TAM. Quitely make the plan, then work the plan. Its not worth the drama any more so hold your cards close until everything is in place.
Separation after D-day almost always spells divorce. She's going through what looks like a female MLC where she's desperate for outside male validation of her desirability as a woman, that she doesn't care that it is going to cost her marriage and her family.
Don't be surprised if she has a mental breakdown later on. It happened to my ex-wife a year and half after our divorce became finalized, it just happened to oldmitten's wife after he filed for divorce, it happened recently to Badblood's wife, Ahhhhman's ex-wife and I have no doubt that it will happen to other women as well who follow a similar path. I hope that you can convince your stbxw to get professional help not just for her well being but that of her children as well. As much as it may seem like the karma justice bus running over them, it is a terrible thing to witness the destruction of someone who we once loved above all others.
Thanks for your advice morituri.
I look @ my STBXW with pity and sadness. She is definitely going through MLC. She is rebelling against me and our marriage. She is sowing her oats that she didn't do in her 20s.
She has been in her own IC. Her IC knows about her affair and I guess is supporting it. I can't even imagine....
We separated b/c I told her I wasn't going to stay in limbo for much longer. She knew she had a deadline, so she demanded a 1 month separation.
I truly believe in her twisted head that she thinks she's just experimenting and will try to come back to me. Its similar to what happened to OM2 - she thought she could do it, move on and no one would get hurt. She just never thought she would get caught.
OM3 & 4 are not relationship potential. OM3 lives 2000+ miles away and OM4 is M. In her f'd mind, they are "safe" b/c she can't have them.
Never reveal your game plan, I heard this many of time on TAM. Quitely make the plan, then work the plan. Its not worth the drama any more so hold your cards close until everything is in place.
That's my plan. If I confront prior to the trip, I will tip her off. Interrupting her and OM3 on Tuesday might make my ego feel better but doesn't change the facts that I am filing.
When? Before this week? My STBXW already had a ONS with OM3.
I don't know OM3 or his GF. I;ll let her know when I drop the D on my W. Letting her know beforehand will tip off my STBXW.
Ok, then c-block them. Without tipping of your hand, tell her you can't be with the kids, etc. Really really make their hookup hard. Even if you have to show up at the same place.
Heck, if you think about it, this will be your last chance to mess with her like this. After you drop the bomb, she'll be outta reach.
Really, whats one more fling, screw it, stay stong knowing there is an end to a means. Let her crap role off your back knowing that a reckoning is coming, a very big reckoning.
Her little hook won't mean crap compared to the life aultoring event that is coming her way.
God knows it will be tough as hell, but it takes fire to make steel, don't forget that.
Really, whats one more fling, screw it, stay stong knowing there is an end to a means. Let her crap role off your back knowing that a reckoning is coming, a very big reckoning.
Her little hook won't mean crap compared to the life aultoring event that is coming her way.
God knows it will be tough as hell, but it takes fire to make steel, don't forget that.
Understood - It's just my nature to interrupt cheaters. Can't help myself.
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Re: D-day: Today. Now what? 
