better than before

I am new to this forum; my husband has been on since May and has gotten so much help from all of you- thank you for that! A little history... We were the fairy tale to most everyone who knew us! We met on a blind date in HS, dated 7 years going to different colleges far apart, lived in home town 1 year before we got engaged, now married 13.5 years. He was and thankfully still is my best friend! I believed we had a great marriage. We had our daughter last summer(second child) and I was so happy! I had no idea what was about to hit me. One night, his phone chimed with a text; I looked over (was sitting in his lap) and casually asked who it was. He freaked out and grabbed it; he didn't know at the time how to hide text preview! When he sat down to tell me it was the last thing I thought could be going on- naive, I know! I fell apart!!! He had an EA with old girlfriend who found him on FB for 7 weeks! They told each other ILY-killed me to read! I felt like my whole world was blown apart- so numb! He told me everything which I really appreciate now. It has been such a tough year, but I have become a stronger person in so many ways. I am more confident now, crazy, I know! We communicate now, flirt again, and make time for each other! We didn't realize we weren't working on our marriage anymore at all! I now view this experience as a blessing in disguise. We wouldn't be where we are had it not happened. It was and still is very hard, but we have a deeper, stronger love as a result! I am lucky that it only lasted 7 weeks with no physical contact, but the emotional connection was hard to deal with too!! He has struggled with this all terribly-paid a huge emotional price, but he is also healing! The talk about it being a drug has helped us both to understand his actions and feelings. I know we will continue to have good and bad days! He just sent me a text that he got a call from a blocked number with no vm. It is OW b'day today; sure it was her-she won't let go! It is a process, but we are winning!! The good thing is we have trust! I know he loves me and will continue to struggle with the whole event, and I believe that he feels like he can really confide in me about all of it. He has also realized just how much I love him through my actions in dealing with it! Please know it can work if you love each other and are willing to work to regain trust! I am nervous about d-day, lots of emotions wrapped up in it- and OW is crazy I am confident we will get past it all together and continue to make our marriage better. Good luck to all of you who are unfortunately beginning the process of rebuilding! I wish I had the benefit of this site a year ago! I know I will continue to use it for strength and encouragement!
Posted via Mobile Device

the guy

It looks like things are heading in the right direction for the both of you and thats awsome.
We're 17 months out and I so can relate to the effort my DS put forth when she tells me about the attempted contacts.

In our case there were alot of "tourest", ONS ,and just to many OM. She would have to write 20 NC if WW could but there is no way to contact them all. The point is my WW tells me everytime she get a "unfamilar" text or call, even emails. It still sucks but as time has gone by they are accuring less and less. I believe with time your H's OW will give up and she will fade away.

Its nice to have our best friends back, is in it?

8yearscheating

Congrats better! Yes it can be. Stick around and also offer encouragement to others. You will be in the minority here just like me!

better than before

Thanks guys! Good to hear others with a positive outlook on the situation! It has been hard, but worth the effort! I already do feel in the minority; we have done a good job in handling our situation! Some of the things people on both sides have done to each other has shown me I am lucky Yes, it is good to have my best friend back! He wrote me a letter early on in response to one I wrote him; in it I said that I felt like a kid who's best friend found a new best friend! He wrote he was just distracted by the new kid- the fog! I understand all of this better now; don't think you can ever totally understand unless you've been there!
Posted via Mobile Device

Geoffrey Marsh

better than,

I tell you what...it is so great to hear a story of victory! Congrats.

10 years removed from d-day and I can tell you my wife and I have never been stronger. Looking back, I wouldn't wish what happened on my worst enemy.

With that being said: I wouldn't erase the past if that meant giving up what I have now.

Best Wishes,

GM