Re: Wife Tells Me She Hated Me Before Affair
from a person who had an affair and fell "in love" with someone else, i can tell you that everything she is telling you is a result of these feelings for the other person.
prior to the affair i had, my wife and i didn't get along the greatest, but it was never as bad as i made myself believe, and then others. i too told her the things your wife has told you...from "i hate you" to "your presence makes me sick"...everything. i made her believe that our relationship had failed years before the affair to make myself feel better. i would do anything to justify what i was doing to wreck our marriage and to make it "okay" in my eyes...didn't care what anybody else thought.
i don't have the answers, but i can tell you that the email you shared from her above is the same bunch of b.s. and lies that i would spew to my wife, again, just to make myself feel better about what i was doing.
you've a choice. if you honestly believe you can win her back, hang in there. my wife did, and she won me back. if you think it's a lost cause, then it's definitely time to bail.
how you'll come to that decision...i honestly don't know. what finally worked for me, or moreso, for my wife, was me realizing how little a part i would play in our kids' lives. that hurt and made me wake up. how to make her realize that you and her are your child's parents and he needs the both you together and happy i don't know.
but what i do know, and i did finally realize, is that we can control who we love. needing to love is no where nearly as easy as loving someone we want to love. you have to turn the need into a want, and this is what she needs to realize. it's possible...i know.
good luck, that's all i can say at this point...i'm no counselor, but i've been there...