librarydragon

I think the above would be grovelling, with begging only marginally better.

"Wife, I know exactly what you have planned for your weekend in party city. You have until X PM today to be on a plane home, or you can consider our marriage over." No argument, no conflict. A simple statement of facts.

She doesn't respect your pair. She doesn't even think you have a pair.

the guy

Give the guy a break that time has past and its time to confront her on your term and when your ready.
As long as you keep your distance she will not beable to manage you, no more BS and the simple fact that you have moved on. When she's walking home from the airport, she can reflect on her action towards you and consider the bad choices she has made.

Shamwow

Makes sense, that would definitely be Alpha and direct. But remember that she's already been with this guy for the last week on her current jobsite, and lied about it. Odds are this is not the first time, as she became distant 2 months ago now. My line was crossed, the line has always been clear, and I reiterated it before she left. What the hell do I care now if she does 5 Chippendales at the same time this weekend? I mean, I wouldn't want to SEE it, but it's her life now, not mine. What she did can't be undone, and what she does from here on out is her own business.

Halien

I don't disagree with your plan, but since she will have the phone on in order to call, why not leave her a message that if she waits until Monday, divorce papers will be waiting? Then absolutely do not answer the calls or talk to her. Coming home sooner probably will not save the marriage, but she doesn't have to know that. I think that I'm too alpha, admittedly, but the only one doing any nervous sweating should be her, and the current plan doesn't do that.

the guy

His wife can always say "the hell with it" and party more, even though it doesn't matter right now. Kinda like "well he's leaving any way,lets party"
I still like the nice suprise she'll get when she comes home. She had her chance and failed! IMO

Entropy3000

Yes, this is exactly I think the situation. She will deny no matter what.

Entropy3000

Well there is no talking to her now. She decided to party with the other men instead. His conversation with her earlier was validation. He should not now talk to her and tell her to do anything. Even if he was more blunt and so on. This would come off as weak and desparate.
Anything like that had to be said in that other phone call.

He did well on the phone call to not be upset. That was very good. He should be gone when she gets home. The weakest thing in the world would be for him to negagotiate with her now. i.e. fly home now and I will not divorce you. He already did that in his previous call. He needs to follow through.

I think the only thing more she could do to him is bring the guys home and screw them in front of him. Seriously. She may deny everything or she may go the other extreme and revel in telling him what she did with the other guys and how they were better than him or whatever. Just to rub his nose in it. She is really doing that now. She just used other words.

Anyway, it sounds like he will not be gone when she gets back. He indicated he was not meeting her at the airport. Well come on now how could he if he does not know when she is coming back. I guess he did not write that info down when he was in her account.

the guy

Shamwow

Just got a text from my wife:

"I didn't go to Vegas. Alone at hotel one more night. I'll book a flight home for sometime tomorrow."

Ummm...wtf?

Shamwow

Of course I presume she's not alone at the hotel, as we've all been over...but why the sudden change? Lover's quarrel? Felt horrible and saw the light? Not sure how to respond.

Shamwow

Freaking out here guys!

Entropy3000

We don't know what is up. BUT, I am guessing your call was as good as we thought it was. Again I think you came off as calm and Alpha. I did not see you as weak. I don't think she did either. Woman like that. I am not saying that is all of it.

As they say, you have to be willing to lose someone to keep them. That is why folks want guys to be assertive. Not being assertive is weak. Being assertive is strong. Weak drives women away. Strength has value.

Anyway, this is interesting. Things just got more complicated. LOL.

We are here for you buddy! I don't know what to hope for. She has a lotta splainin to do.

Remember, weakness pushes them away. Stay strong.

Shamwow

I guess I'll give her a call and see what she says

aug

I would let her wait for your answer while you think matters over. What's the hurry?

aug

Dont you have your work report/project due Monday? Work on that while your brain ponder on her situation in the background.