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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 08-21-2011, 12:07 PM   #226 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Just pack your bags and leave. Write her a short email message stating "I know everything, don't bother contacting me." and go dark.

You my friend have a marriage on paper only and a wife in name only. It's time to put an end to this marriage turned sham by your 'wife'
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:08 PM   #227 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Her new flight to Vegas leaves in three hours. Perhaps she plans to call me once she gets there? Should I send her a text before her flight leaves to say "Don't bother coming home Tues, have fun with bf."? (or any better ideas?) Or wait until tonight when she's arrived there? That might make more of an effect. Feel like I have to make this trip bad for her somehow.

Guess she really doesn't think I have a pair. I'm done.

Sorry for the possible reconciliation drama, all. Just thought she may have had a change of heart. Clearly bf and her made up by 6am.
Do not text her at all. Do not waste another ounce of energy on her. Use the remaining time to get out of there. Take care of your dogs. Get what you do not want to lose outa of your place.
Figure anything left behind will get messed up by her. If you have to board your dogs professionally do so. Get going.

This is not the woman you are looking for. She never was. You just did not know it. What a horrible person to do this. Another man totally owns her now.

Again go total NC with her. Get the papers served to her.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:10 PM   #228 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Intercepted it. She seems to have forgotten that I am the admin for our websites & email. Oops. I only get the incoming (as her sent messages are only stored on her computer) but it's been pretty enlightening nonetheless.

(never snooped her email until a couple weeks ago, but I've been right up in there ever since)
Ok, makes sense. Use this information and get the heck outa Dodge. Get passed this. Work on yourself and then when you are ready go find someone better. Life is too short.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:10 PM   #229 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Morituri, that sounds like good wording. Would you send that message before she comes back, or the day after she gets back and has returned to an empty house w/papers on the table and is flipping out? Perhaps I could leave a note with the D papers saying just that (and only that), instead of email.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:17 PM   #230 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

And the remaining stack of bills on the table...do I need to pay these legally, or should I just leave them there? Didn't ask my lawyer that.

She has spent all of her money in the last few weeks, credit and cash in checking, and all of ours that she can get her hands on. I have received pay in the last week that will set me up for a while and I've not transferred any of it to our joint checking (which is where we usually pay our bills from). Hope D-Bag McGee is prepared to take on a "wife"...
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:19 PM   #231 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Do I pack up all our personal papers as well as my stuff to take with me? Tax returns/mortgage info/car title/essentially the whole file cabinet? Make it so she has no info to work with as she tries to figure out how to restructure her life without me?

Also, we filed for an extension on our taxes this year, and had planned to take them in to file next week. Is it easy to switch to filing separately?
Lawyers anyone?
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:24 PM   #232 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Do I pack up all our personal papers as well as my stuff to take with me? Tax returns/mortgage info/car title/essentially the whole file cabinet? Make it so she has no info to work with as she tries to figure out how to restructure her life without me?

Also, we filed for an extension on our taxes this year, and had planned to take them in to file next week. Is it easy to switch to filing separately?
Yes you can sort out what you want her to have later. You will prob still have to file jointly this time though.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:26 PM   #233 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Morituri, that sounds like good wording. Would you send that message before she comes back, or the day after she gets back and has returned to an empty house w/papers on the table and is flipping out? Perhaps I could leave a note with the D papers saying just that (and only that), instead of email.
Send it a few minutes before you're out the door.

You don't want to give her time to book an emergency flight home and attempt to do a snow job on you. As Entropy3000 said, the emotional power of a crying, pleading woman is hard on any man. I've seen men in your situation who allow their woman's tears to melt their resolve like putty and later bitterly regret having capitulated once their wives fears subside and they go back to their OM.

Your wife needs to face the severe consequences of her actions and nothing does it better than leaving and serving her with the divorce papers.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:27 PM   #234 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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And the remaining stack of bills on the table...do I need to pay these legally, or should I just leave them there? Didn't ask my lawyer that.

She has spent all of her money in the last few weeks, credit and cash in checking, and all of ours that she can get her hands on. I have received pay in the last week that will set me up for a while and I've not transferred any of it to our joint checking (which is where we usually pay our bills from). Hope D-Bag McGee is prepared to take on a "wife"...
Anything that can wait a few days to pay just hold off until you can get back with the attorney!
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:27 PM   #235 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

She just texted me:

"Any money come through? I decided to go to Vegas today. Cancelled the ticket home, but money isn't credited back yet. I need some play monies. I'll be home tues."


Guess it's time to put dark status into action. Let him pay for her "play monies". This is gonna be weird guys.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:29 PM   #236 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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She just texted me:

"Any money come through? I decided to go to Vegas today. Cancelled the ticket home, but money isn't credited back yet. I need some play monies. I'll be home tues."


Time to put dark status into action. Let him pay for her "play monies". This is gonna be weird guys.
Don't respond!!!! Lukeee come to the dark side..........
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:30 PM   #237 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

cut off your phone don't be tempted to respond!
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:31 PM   #238 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Not weird. You know exactly what she is doing and with whom. I agree with your decision to go dark here, I think it's a good idea. As for the timing of telling her, I'm not sure what the pros and cons are of waiting or doing it now. Better left up to the others to help with that.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:32 PM   #239 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

I am tempted, but I won't respond.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:35 PM   #240 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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And the remaining stack of bills on the table...do I need to pay these legally, or should I just leave them there? Didn't ask my lawyer that.
Consult with your attorney before paying them. You credit score may or may not be affected.

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She has spent all of her money in the last few weeks, credit and cash in checking, and all of ours that she can get her hands on. I have received pay in the last week that will set me up for a while and I've not transferred any of it to our joint checking (which is where we usually pay our bills from). Hope D-Bag McGee is prepared to take on a "wife"...
And you want to remain married to this woman because....?
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