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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 08-21-2011, 01:39 PM   #241 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Originally Posted by Shamwow View Post
She just texted me:

"Any money come through? I decided to go to Vegas today. Cancelled the ticket home, but money isn't credited back yet. I need some play monies. I'll be home tues."


Guess it's time to put dark status into action. Let him pay for her "play monies". This is gonna be weird guys.
Wow. Just uh...wow. Like you actually once used to call this hollow non-feeling beast your wife right?

*Calling all REAL women[single of course]: Shamwow the GREAT GUY™ is free for the taking!*
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Old 08-21-2011, 01:49 PM   #242 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Going to buy boxes and packing supplies now.
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Old 08-21-2011, 01:50 PM   #243 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

No contact. No Money.

Put together a list of open issues to research tonight (what to do about bills, house, etc), then run through the list quickly with your lawyer in the morning. Send your lawyer an email right now advising him that she's gone AWOL until Tuesday and that gives him and you a day to prepare and strengthen your position.

She's shown you what she really thinks of you, though I can see that probably didn't come as a total surprise to you.
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Old 08-21-2011, 01:52 PM   #244 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Going to buy boxes and packing supplies now.
You'll be fine. We Promise. Stay strong
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:01 PM   #245 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

SW,

You may want to consider asking the moderator to move this thread over to the 'Coping with Infidelity' forum to get more support and feedback.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:07 PM   #246 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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SW,

You may want to consider asking the moderator to move this thread over to the 'Coping with Infidelity' forum to get more support and feedback.
Thanks Morituri. How do I do that/Who is the Moderator? (new to the forum thing)
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:22 PM   #247 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Thanks Morituri. How do I do that/Who is the Moderator? (new to the forum thing)
Send a PM to any of these moderators:

Amplexor
Deejo

They should be able to do it without a problem.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:25 PM   #248 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Originally Posted by Shamwow View Post
She just texted me:

"Any money come through? I decided to go to Vegas today. Cancelled the ticket home, but money isn't credited back yet. I need some play monies. I'll be home tues."


Guess it's time to put dark status into action. Let him pay for her "play monies". This is gonna be weird guys.
Go dark. She realized you have not put your money in your joint account. She was counting on it. Maybe that is what last night was all about. Maybe she was hoping you thinkiong seh was coming homewas going to get you to loosen up things.

Last edited by Entropy3000; 08-21-2011 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:39 PM   #249 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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And let the "call shamwow a p***y" comments commence for not telling her to go f**k herself and die. Will not apologize for calling to hear what she had to say, and not stomping my proverbial foot on her face. That will come when she comes home and admits this s**t to me to my face. My spine is just fine.
All kinds of people who don't know you and don't know her are going to go all internet tough guy on you. Forget them, what you did shook her, because you weren't whiny or begging. You set boundaries and let her make the wrong choices. That's a much better way to handle it; the others are just mad because you did better than most guys would have. There's no way they can tell from the text you write here what tone you took, etc. Sounds like you're doing fine, but there's a long hard road ahead.

Remember not to cave quickly into reconciliation if that's what you want. She has some dues to pay, and it will take time to rebuild trust, etc. Remember too that it's not your job to be captain save-a-ho. It's her job to earn mercy and forgiveness and trust at this point, if you even want that. But you know that.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:46 PM   #250 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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All kinds of people who don't know you and don't know her are going to go all internet tough guy on you. Forget them, what you did shook her, because you weren't whiny or begging. You set boundaries and let her make the wrong choices. That's a much better way to handle it; the others are just mad because you did better than most guys would have. There's no way they can tell from the text you write here what tone you took, etc. Sounds like you're doing fine, but there's a long hard road ahead.

Remember not to cave quickly into reconciliation if that's what you want. She has some dues to pay, and it will take time to rebuild trust, etc. Remember too that it's not your job to be captain save-a-ho. It's her job to earn mercy and forgiveness and trust at this point, if you even want that. But you know that.


I have to admit this thread being one of the most captivating thread in TAM so far. This has been a nailbiter! My thoughts are with you ShamWow.
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:15 PM   #251 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Realize I think I need a soundtrack for the next few days as I pack and go through this mess. Thinking White Zombie, Rage Against The Machine, etc. The closing music to the first Matrix movie...
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:16 PM   #252 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Have just requested the thread be moved to Coping With Infidelity...
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:22 PM   #253 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Go dark bro and change your cell number. I know a pain in the butt, but what a way to ruin her trip when she can't contact you. or the old cell number goes to someone else. Making her wonder what happend and then coming home to find you have completely disappeared.

Take everything bills, papers, taxes, I mean everything.....just keep them in front of the storage so you can retrieve them after the "bomb hits".

I'm talking a disapperaing act of biblical proportion. Screw her and move on, focus on your new life.
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:24 PM   #254 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

If I change my FB relationship status from Married to just nothing, does that show as a status update (like it does when you go from married to single, or vice versa)? Or does it just quietly remove it from my info...anyone know?
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:40 PM   #255 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

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Either way, when she comes home today I'll be prepared to sit her down stat. If she jumps in and starts spilling right away, I'll let her talk. If she doesn't, I'll tell her I know she's been cheating, and that I was not going to be here when she got back from Vegas, that I'd seen an attorney, and that papers were being drawn up as we speak. I'll tell her that I don't know what difference it will make, but if she doesn't tell me everything - from the beginning - and make it the truth, I'm leaving. I'll make it clear to not tell me just the truth she thinks I may already know, because I know plenty, and if she lies or denies what I already know to be true, the conversation will be over, and I'll be leaving and she can expect papers promptly.

Then we'll see what she says.

I won't be giving her a hug when she starts crying (or when she gets home for that matter), I won't be sitting next to her on the couch trying to comfort her as she talks. Rarely if ever call her by her first name, have called her "babe" for so many years it's ingrained. I will call her by her first name only. I plan to be standing, and several feet from her. Will try not to show any emotion whatsoever, and will try to project that I'm only there because she came home early and I haven't have a chance to move out yet.

If she stonewalls me or lies, I will just put up my hand and walk away, and say I'll be leaving now, good luck with everything, and don't call me.

Sham, way to go man. I am proud of you.
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