Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamwow
He's not local...other side of the country. But I'm sure she'll call a friend for a ride or something. Especially when she hasn't heard from me in response to her calls and texts about when she'll be arriving, etc.
Being very careful about who knows anything about this. No family...and only two friends that are loyal to me. A buddy was in town on work yesterday, needed a place to stay. He's known her since 5th grade. He actually is the one that introduced me to her. We went out, had a good time, I let on nothing, even though we're quite close. Word gets back to her and I lose a lot here.
Even if I leave town on Tues I think I'll only tell the two people that already know my situation (one would be the guy I'd travel to stay with for a few days). She'll be calling around trying to find out where I am (so she can scream at me, I presume), and surely she'll come across those two people eventually, and hopefully they don't give me up. Either way, don't want to make it easy.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
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Originally Posted by Halien
When do you think she'll run up against the wall for cash? Will she even be able to pay for the hotel with her credit card if it is maxed? If not, hopefully she doesn't have a shared credit card from your accounts.
Well, the other day she paid $500 to one of her credit cards out of the joint, probably to make a little room. That's a shared card, but it's maxed (minus $500). Her other cards probably have a hundred or less left on them. From what she transferred from the joint last week I'm guessing she probably has $600, maybe $700 in cash to play with, unless she already spent it this last week. Our joint now has $200 in it. Guessing she'll be dipping into that if worst come to worst. Not sure what she bought the new plane ticket with. (freq flyer miles maybe?)
I told her earlier in the week I was still waiting on some checks, and they should be here soon. I was waiting. They've come since then though, and I haven't mentioned that they did.
So if she's careful she should be able to pay the hotel bill, etc. But she won't be living it up Vegas-style. Unless someone else covers her.
That said, she'll be landing in Vegas in about an hour. Wonder if I'll be hearing more pleas for "play monies" tonight. Won't respond...but would be fun to just text back "guess you better win on red."
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
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Originally Posted by Locard
Sham, if you W were a man she would have nads the size of basketballs, asking you to send her money to fund her sexscapade. Wow, just wow!
I know, right?? And honestly, that's one of the things I always loved about her. She's a strong chick.
I mean, I've said before that we love wasting money. We're too good at it. Going to Vegas (or anywhere for that matter) always costs us more than it should, and we make spending decisions on vacations all the time that can end up strapping us for a while. I don't care that she wants to waste money in Vegas. Nothing unusual there. I care that she wants to spend what WE normally do on a vacation, but without ME. And with two guys that I don't really know, and certainly have every reason not to trust. After I specifically told her it was NOT okay to go. And then when the money runs low, actually expects ME to fund it as if I'm her partner in this?
Test me, eh? Gonna pass this one with flying colors.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Ya your future ex wife is getting covered alright!
Thats probablely the deal, she didn't have the dough to go to Vegas and was heading home but then she got "covered". The OM is going to be pissed when she can't pay him back. Wait she may have!
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by the guy
I was thinking some one spilled the beans when she 1st decided not to go to Vages, but it seems you are covering your bases.
So it most have been the OM influence.
I had this same thought too...I thought maybe my buddy in town decided it was the right thing to do to give her a heads up that I was on to everything and was planning to bolt. Try to save my marriage for me.
Who knows, that still could be the case, and she ultimately decided she didn't care, so eff it, she would go have a good time anyway...
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Who knows at this point is right. You're doing the right thing, Sham. Gotta take care of yourself. One day at a time! If you feel yourself wearing down from this nightmare rollercoaster, I'd keep re-reading the link to "Let Them Go" from Morituri's link.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamwow
I had this same thought too...I thought maybe my buddy in town decided it was the right thing to do to give her a heads up that I was on to everything and was planning to bolt. Try to save my marriage for me.
Who knows, that still could be the case, and she ultimately decided she didn't care, so eff it, she would go have a good time anyway...
You might be surprised. Her call revealed alot, and I don't think it was all crocodile tears. I suspect that she cried because he pulled back, but it is entirely possible that you are her safe backup plan. Its very unlikely, in my opinion, that she will tell you to f*** off until the very last tear falls when she begs you to take her back.
Her travel likely gives her a safe buffer that most cheating women don't get. It can create a mindset where she is not really interested in another marriage partner, but only needs an unsuspecting husband and a guy that she has a crush on.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamwow
I know, right?? And honestly, that's one of the things I always loved about her. She's a strong chick.
I mean, I've said before that we love wasting money. We're too good at it. Going to Vegas (or anywhere for that matter) always costs us more than it should, and we make spending decisions on vacations all the time that can end up strapping us for a while. I don't care that she wants to waste money in Vegas. Nothing unusual there. I care that she wants to spend what WE normally do on a vacation, but without ME. And with two guys that I don't really know, and certainly have every reason not to trust. After I specifically told her it was NOT okay to go. And then when the money runs low, actually expects ME to fund it as if I'm her partner in this?
Test me, eh? Gonna pass this one with flying colors.
The nads on this chick...
Yes nads. But it is also the dopamine talking. She is in a mental crisis of her own making. Delusional.
Again there is not doubt there is sex involved here, BUT even if there was not what she is doing on the face of it is unfaithful.
Her partying with her male friends and lying to you about it without you is unfaithful even without penetration. But to be sure that has and is ocurring.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halien
You might be surprised. Her call revealed alot, and I don't think it was all crocodile tears. I suspect that she cried because he pulled back, but it is entirely possible that you are her safe backup plan. Its very unlikely, in my opinion, that she will tell you to f*** off until the very last tear falls when she begs you to take her back.
Her travel likely gives her a safe buffer that most cheating women don't get. It can create a mindset where she is not really interested in another marriage partner, but only needs an unsuspecting husband and a guy that she has a crush on.
Yes sir. You and I know about corporate travel. If one is so inclined they can fall into a double life syndrome where they lead separate lives. The one at home and the one on the road. Some people are very comfortable with this. I know a few of those folks. I avoid them on trips whenever possible.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Her "good time" will be short lived.....were my friend, are about to embark on a new journy, with new adventures, with new people that will respect you and be loyaly.
Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamwow
Text just now from her:
"Hello?"
So the reply might be : Adios
Or something more classy like: "Farewell my love"
I actually think being classy is harder for people to deal with. The high ground. Kinda lets them know more how wrong they are. Somewhere deep inside her psyche is a remnant of who she used to be and never will be again. That was the woman you loved. She is who you need to say goodbye to. The woman who took over her body is not worth talking to.
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Re: Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help! 
