Wife travels a lot, sex life has stalled, worried - help!

Entropy3000 · 08-21-2011, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the guy

8-
Look at the conversation ( a few hundred post back) and the fact that she has gone off to Vegas with no regard to his request that she come home or you meet her out there.

She has checked out knowing that there is a problem and has refused (IMO) to work it out. I have a strong feeling that she believes Shamwow is not man to take the action required.

It seems he has confronted her but she continues her beahvior. If it was his house you would have suggested that he ask her to leave if she choose to continue the affair.

Some times you just have to let them go.

I get it, this is a pro marriage forum and every one is hell bent on Shamwow bailling out, but again he has to let her go, granted he can always move back if she desides to do the heavy lifting and recommit to the marriage, b/c your right there is no hard proof of a PA but at the very least there is a EA and until she admits and own up to it then distancing him self is the best play to get her to see her unhealthy behavior.

Being pro marriage is one thing. Being pro cuckold is simply wrong.

This is Talk About Marriage.

Not Please F^ck My Wife.

8yearscheating · 08-21-2011, 08:37 PM

Being honest and stating what you will do and what you must have are not controlling.

the guy · 08-21-2011, 08:37 PM

I think its poetic justice.
Why give her the chance to talk her way out of it? I can see two wrongs don't make it right but diappering is still a just reward for her cheating. This still can have a chance to work out but the statement Sham is making is powerful enough to make her rethink her life choices.

I just think even with a face to face and the mention ...or warning of divorce will still lead to the same out come. She's check out long ago, Shamwow is just catching up.

8yearscheating · 08-21-2011, 08:39 PM

I agree she needs a wakeup call. AFter there has been a conversation that lasts more than 3 minutes.

nada · 08-21-2011, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entropy3000

He just does not have to do anything rash now. And he just flat may be so involved with his new life he no longer cares.

But he is welll within his rights to let the OM feel some of the pain. He gets to choose. Which is empowering in itself.

That is what is important. Excellent progress

Whip Morgan · 08-21-2011, 08:40 PM

Perhaps we're all overlooking the possibility that whatever uncertainties Sham faces, the facts and behaviors of his wife simply are deal breakers. Spending , lies, and partying with other men. For some, hats knowledge enough to realize that she is a wife in name only
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Entropy3000 · 08-21-2011, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 8yearscheating

If it were me, I'd have met her getting off the plane in Vegas or flown to where she was previously and had that conversation.

And if it were me, the OM would have already been in the hospital and I would be in the Vegas jail talking pro marriage to my bunk mates.

I am not a submissive man. I do not get the impression from the OP he is ok with being cuckolded.

8yearscheating · 08-21-2011, 08:41 PM

He'll know soon enough. I'll withhold further comment till it plays out.

Entropy3000 · 08-21-2011, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 8yearscheating

Bu then again I fight for what I want.

This is not about you

Entropy3000 · 08-21-2011, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 8yearscheating

Being honest and stating what you will do and what you must have are not controlling.

His first obligation is to be true to himself. She is the liar here.

the guy · 08-21-2011, 08:44 PM

I'm missing something, what the fixation on cuckold, Sham is not tolorating her behavior so good for him, its just how he's handling it that is in debate know.

Entropy3000 · 08-21-2011, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whip Morgan

Perhaps we're all overlooking the possibility that whatever uncertainties Sham faces, the facts and behaviors of his wife simply are deal breakers. Spending , lies, and partying with other men. For some, hats knowledge enough to realize that she is a wife in name only
Posted via Mobile Device

Exactly what I am saying. All of this is a deal breaker to a man that wants to have a real loving relationship with his wife. She has pi$$ed on is trust.

Whip Morgan · 08-21-2011, 08:48 PM

To each his own. People come to the board for advice, but ultimately it's up to them. Some people take action( like you 8, or RWB, workingitout, aaahman, Mori), others linger: disbelief, MNG, hurtinginTN. Not everyone has the desire to try to save it. Now I do believe that once the dust settles it is possible things could change. Could Sham sticking up for himself snap her out of it? If so, perhaps in time she could come around. But Sham may not be there.

Time will tell. But the ugly truth is that not every BS realizes how wrong they were, like RWBs wife or yours. But is it possible in time? Sure. For now, Sham is playing the hand he was dealt
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Entropy3000 · 08-21-2011, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the guy

I'm missing something, what the fixation on cuckold, Sham is not tolorating her behavior so good for him, its just how he's handling it that is in debate know.

My comment is not aimed at Sham. He gets it. It is aimed at those who at any cost want the man to accept this type of behavior. Her beahvior is beyod all reason.

I use cuckold because that is what she is doing right now. He needs no additional proof. Needing additional proof is absurd.

morituri · 08-21-2011, 08:51 PM

8 years,

You are a man of character and honor who deeply loves and cares for his wife. THAT is why you never cheated on your wife. You never did anything remotely close to what ShamWow's wife has done and is doing. You may have been a business traveler like ShamWow's wife but that is where the similarities end.