husband sexting close friend
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 08-29-2011, 12:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default husband sexting close friend

i am 24 and have been married for over 2 years. since last fall, my husband has been sexting a very close friend of ours/my family who is also the mother of one of my best friends.
i caught him in spring. he lied about it and said it was only once. they had been doing this almost weekly, and it continued after i caught him up until a few weeks ago when i caught him again and finally threatened divorce. even then he still lied.this is not the first instance of this, however it hurts the most. he has attempted to meet with her to hook up.
he has told me that it's my fault regardless of how much i have tried to fix this. he says the only solution is group, but he doesn't understand that there needs to be trust for this to be an option. he would look me in my eyes and lie. i even saw a counselor because i became so convinced that it was all my fault. through these hard times and more, he was still doing this.
i am giving our marriage one more try, but my conscience is telling me to leave. i have no trust in him. his words have become meaningless. he would even sext with her while we'd be out with friends and he'd be standing right by me.
i don't know what to do. i love him so much, and when things are good they're great, but i don't know that i should be with someone who would hurt me so much. he assures me he wouldn't actually cheat, but i don't believe him considering he tried to set something up.
and this is such a close friend. i sent her an e-mail telling her-and i'm paraphrasing-to beat it.
this is just a summary of it all. what should i do? am i an idiot for still staying?
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Old 08-29-2011, 12:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

Two yeras in and already dealing with this mess...

My advice is to cut your losses and mov eon. Don't get knocked up. Just file and walk.

If he's serious about being committed he will do the work it takes to earn your trust back and end all contact with the OW. He has shown he's not willing to do that. Ove rand over again.

If the OW is married, out her to her husband and her daughter (your friend). Do this without warning to your husband or to the OW so they don't have time to get their stories straight. Yu need to expose the affair IMMEDIATELY.

Get tested for STDs. He may not have met her but if he set something up or was looking to set up a meeting, the intent was there. You said this has been happening since last fall (that you know of) so at minimum e's been cheating with her for about a year now (that you know of).

So that is half of your marriage already.

You will never trust him.

Did OW ever write you back?
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Old 08-29-2011, 01:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

I just "love" it when cheaters act like it's your fault that they are cheating in the first place!!! Classic.
I know you love him and it's easier said that done, I think you would be better off without him...he doesn't respect you and you can't live like that...you deserve better.
Good luck and I want to wish you the best.
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Old 08-29-2011, 01:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by kw0804 View Post
he has attempted to meet with her to hook up.

This^^^

he assures me he wouldn't actually cheat, but i don't believe him considering he tried to set something up.

and This^^^ Don't go together.
You're married two years, no kids and he's treating you like this. I'm not normally this flat footed in what I'm about to say, but I'd bail. There are so many things in your post that are classic cheater behavior and so disrespectful and hurtful to the loyal spouse that I'm not really even sure where to begin. I mean he tells you it's all your fault and then says the only way to fix it is group sex (I'm assuming that's what "group" means). Come On - Really?? That's just so bad it renders me speechless.

IMO this is a lost cause but I understand it's hard to make the decision to quit it. If you have to stay in it for a while and work on it for God's sake don't get pregnant.
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Old 08-29-2011, 01:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

Flush him
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Old 08-29-2011, 02:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

thanks for the feedback it's greatly appreciated. i needed to hear other opinions and have things put into perspective.
and to answer your question jellybeans no she didn't. we were such close friends and she didn't have the guts to even apologize.
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Old 08-29-2011, 02:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

Is OW married? Out her to her daughter and husband/boyfriend.
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Old 08-29-2011, 08:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband sexting close friend

He's a mental case. Well I was going to say freak but I was trying to be nice.

Get the he!! out and let EVERYONE know what both of them have been doing. They 're both cheaters and people deserve to know who is really around them.
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