Well it will pick it up, but it won't stop the recording, I would also assume he would turn down the radio to talk on the phone Posted via Mobile Device
Yep. My WW always turns down the radio to talk, fortunately, its to call me or the kids.
I must say... wow... i just found this site few days ago.. posted then stumbled accross your post/story and I have been glued every since.. goodness I just cant wait to get home to get back on here to read your writing... I am gaining alot of useful information to deal with my own drama.. yes at this time in my life it is just considered drama to me.. But you writing this is just so informative but so much shall I say the best Novel IV read in awhile.. wow you should write a book Sir, if most self/help on infedelity was as interesting and well writen as yours, well maybe people like myself wouldnt be surfing the net trying to find some kind of metal, emotional self help recovery system.. Ok I got to get back to reading... I just wanted to say that this is very good.. I wish I could write as well as you because my story would be a expressive one. but I am not a great writer.. you have managed to express your story and keep me coming back to read more.. And you was so strong through it.. it gives me courage that I may be that strong one day... Thank you for writing this....
I must say... wow... i just found this site few days ago.. posted then stumbled accross your post/story and I have been glued every since.. goodness I just cant wait to get home to get back on here to read your writing... I am gaining alot of useful information to deal with my own drama.. yes at this time in my life it is just considered drama to me.. But you writing this is just so informative but so much shall I say the best Novel IV read in awhile.. wow you should write a book Sir, if most self/help on infedelity was as interesting and well writen as yours, well maybe people like myself wouldnt be surfing the net trying to find some kind of metal, emotional self help recovery system.. Ok I got to get back to reading... I just wanted to say that this is very good.. I wish I could write as well as you because my story would be a expressive one. but I am not a great writer.. you have managed to express your story and keep me coming back to read more.. And you was so strong through it.. it gives me courage that I may be that strong one day... Thank you for writing this....
Thanks for posting AR. Your story is BRUTAL. I'm 25 yr happily married so I don't need your blueprint for dealing w/ cheating. But who ever really thinks they would need something like this?
Thanks for posting AR. Your story is BRUTAL. I'm 25 yr happily married so I don't need your blueprint for dealing w/ cheating. But who ever really thinks they would need something like this?
Nobody. And not me, that's for sure. Here I thought after a long military career of shift work, many deployments, constant moving around and 21 years, that I thought we were home free and safe and could cruise into our mid life and golden years. Now that its happened to me, I've learned:
It does not matter how long you've been married. It could be less than a year to a 40 year marriage. Your spouse can cheat at ANY point in the marriage. There is no safe period.
It does not matter how many children you have or how old they are. Your spouse can cheat on you during pregnancy, or when the children are young, or in their teens, or grown up. It doesn't matter if you have disabled children or not either. It doesn't matter if you have no kids or 8 kids. They can and will cheat.
It doesn't matter their level of education
It doesn't matter at what age you marry.
It doesn't matter if you were their first, or if they had many partners before you
It doesn't matter if they have enabling, toxic friends or not. But it is more likely if the do.
It doesn't matter if they come from a dysfunctional family or normal family
It doesn't matter if they're skinny or fat
It doesn't matter if you have a good marriage or a bad marriage
It doesn't matter if you had good communication or poor communication with each other.
It doesn't matter if you've been a good husband/wife
I've learned that ANY marriage is vulnerable if the other spouse compromises their boundaries or is looking to cheat. It's a MYTH that cheating only occurs in bad marriages or if someone's needs are not being fulfilled.
Nobody. And not me, that's for sure. Here I thought after a long military career of shift work, many deployments, constant moving around and 21 years, that I thought we were home free and safe and could cruise into our mid life and golden years. Now that its happened to me, I've learned:
It does not matter how long you've been married. It could be less than a year to a 40 year marriage. Your spouse can cheat at ANY point in the marriage. There is no safe period.
It does not matter how many children you have or how old they are. Your spouse can cheat on you during pregnancy, or when the children are young, or in their teens, or grown up. It doesn't matter if you have disabled children or not either. It doesn't matter if you have no kids or 8 kids. They can and will cheat.
It doesn't matter their level of education
It doesn't matter at what age you marry.
It doesn't matter if you were their first, or if they had many partners before you
It doesn't matter if they have enabling, toxic friends or not. But it is more likely if the do.
It doesn't matter if they come from a dysfunctional family or normal family
It doesn't matter if they're skinny or fat
It doesn't matter if you have a good marriage or a bad marriage
It doesn't matter if you had good communication or poor communication with each other.
It doesn't matter if you've been a good husband/wife
I've learned that ANY marriage is vulnerable if the other spouse compromises their boundaries or is looking to cheat. It's a MYTH that cheating only occurs in bad marriages or if someone's needs are not being fulfilled.
This should be must read for everybody coming to TAM
Thanks for posting AR. Your story is BRUTAL. I'm 25 yr happily married so I don't need your blueprint for dealing w/ cheating. But who ever really thinks they would need something like this?
as I stated before I wish I had the help back then because I would have liked to do some things differently, even with the experience of what my parents went through I felt lost and alone in many aspects.
I won't pretend to know the real stats of infidelity but they're high enough that everyone should know what to look for and how to approach it. I truly hope you never have to go through anything similar to what I or what any of us on CWI go through and if my story can help in any way it it makes me proud to have helped people.
What a page turner and I feel bad because I caught myself wondering about the next chapter as if it were a well written fictional book when it was in fact a real story. Quit your day job and write! What a talent!
Besides that, I learned a lot while reading it and I'm going to read it again a few times. Thank you so much for sharing this!
No it should be a must read printed on the back of all marriage licenses. By the time they get here it's too late.
I was thinking about this the other day: what am I going to tell our daugther when she gets married one day? What can I do to prevent this from happening to her or the man she marries?
How many spouses would have thought twice had they known the full extend of the damage they were about to cause and all the consequences associated with it?
even if you educate people you still can't stop infidelity
now that doesnt mean you should stop trying
I think a marital check up every so often is a good thing to do (like what I'm using my DDay anniversary for now). I would recommend that first and foremost. The ability to keep open and honest communication at the forefront will help keep complacency and resentment at arm's length.
I've been wondering if I could turn what I did into a teachable experience for my kids or not. I think I can, but fortunately I have a while to figure it out as our oldest is 8.
Even if I can though everyone has to get their own scars and bruises in life. I'd love to help my kids avoid this particular set of experiences but you can't keep life from happening. I think all you can really do is use it to reiterate to them how it can happen to anyone under any set of circumstances and to always have and maintain good solid boundaries.
I've been wondering if I could turn what I did into a teachable experience for my kids or not. I think I can, but fortunately I have a while to figure it out as our oldest is 8.
Even if I can though everyone has to get their own scars and bruises in life. I'd love to help my kids avoid this particular set of experiences but you can't keep life from happening. I think all you can really do is use it to reiterate to them how it can happen to anyone under any set of circumstances and to always have and maintain good solid boundaries.
I'm a strong believer that no matter how bad the experience there is always something to be learned. Our daugther was 11 at the time and she was RIGHT THERE. She has matured immensely through this, which I wish I could have spared her but I believe she came out taking something away from it that she otherwise wouldn't have:
She's 14 now and has had a boyfriend for almost 2 years. It's only a text message type of relationship. Some of her girlfriends told her she needed a "satellite boy friend" because she goes to a different school than her boyfriend. This upset her very much because she knows it leads to a lot of hurt. She knows this because that's what Mommy did and she doesn't want to go down that road. She hasn't been able to tell me "I don't want to be like you and cheat", but she knows that I know that's what she wanted to say and she knows that I understand.
I think a marital check up every so often is a good thing to do (like what I'm using my DDay anniversary for now). I would recommend that first and foremost. .
Almost: What do you have in mind for this marital checkup?
I just got back from a few days at my inlaws. I did this to make wife happy. I hated every minute of it but did not let that show at all. I think the marriage is good.
But is it? How do YOU go about checking on your marriage health?
Almost: What do you have in mind for this marital checkup?
I just got back from a few days at my inlaws. I did this to make wife happy. I hated every minute of it but did not let that show at all. I think the marriage is good.
But is it? How do YOU go about checking on your marriage health?
sorry for the late reply as I have been enjoying my Xmas time with family lately and haven't been on here much this week.
as to how I check on the marriage?
My wife and I are at a point where we can communicate about issues in a straight forward manner without throwing up defensive walls or casting blame. (well most of the time anyways, it's impossible to be perfect on this...) It also helps that we better understand how the other communicates. Thus, we put aside some time to address concerns, issues and go over the major points of a marriage and see if either one of us are happy. (sex, children, money, time, etc)
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Re: 2 years ago today... 
