Re: 2 years ago today...
My wife, our relationship and marriage
To this day my wife always says with a smile when we tell people how we met-
"I hated him at first, he was an egotistical ass!"
But, I tend to grow on people like a wart.
My wife was only 17 when we met and while I thought she was attractive I had no interest in dating a high school student as I was 24. Nevertheless, my wife was right in that I was indeed an egotistical ass as I was still trying to control the manic swings of my bipolar disorder. My wife was also a shy girl, not a social butterfly by any stretch of the imagination and I tend to gravitate towards those types of people. I hone in with my brashness and try to break these people of their shells.
We eventually became friends, would often go to diners or play billiards after late shifts or inventory at work, usually in groups. She graduated HS, and two months after her turning 18 we went to go see the Lion King in the theaters as friends. That night we found ourselves groping and kissing, etc.
Our relationship, founded in friendship grew quickly, there was no awkward stage as we already knew each other well. My wife having had only one boyfriend prior to our dating was still a virgin, I had the honor of taking that from her. Eventually she moved in my apartment with me (after Mom's death and me shunning Dad) as I helped support her during her attending college. I proposed during her senior year and we planned on having our wedding after her getting a job in 12-18 months.
But as life usually does, it threw a curve ball at us.
She became pregnant with my first son. No biggie or real scandal as we already had plans to marry, we just moved up the schedule a bit. (she was just starting to show at the wedding) We had an offer by her parents to live with them for a period of time so we could save and have help with the baby and eventually get a house. The plan worked and before my son was 2 we had purchased the home we live in today. At this point my relationship with Dad became less strained and since the business was taking off and they needed help I was brought back into the fold.
side note- Early in our marriage I actually expressed concern to my wife (due to my dad and his excuses) that since she had next to no sexual experience that come midlife crisis time she would betray me and wish to experience someone else. She would always reassure me that she would never do that and loved me too much and I was stuck with her.
Soon after my second son was born (this one planned), we really were hitting our stride. Life was good, money was fine, two wonderful babies, sex life was good and frequent, we really enjoyed each other's company and most problems were minor.
Looking back the one dynamic that was bad was the fact that we are both passive aggressive. When one would feel slighted or not get their needs/wants met instead of expressing them in a open way we would try to guilt the other one or make sarcastic comments.
How many Almostrecovereds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"that's okay, I'll sit in the dark"
to be continued later