: And YES, her stuff is out. Locks changed. I'm got work to do, to clean up the place. Re-arrange things are there are empty spaces on the wall, closet and furniture.
: I / we were realizing that we NEEDED to work on our marriage. I was seeing this, and wanted to fix things. Stop everything. Work on us. Do things together more, we were starting to that - but the other guy factor wouldn't go away. she didn't tell him to go away.
You are right, *I WAS* being selfish too, in my own way... I recognized that weeks ago, even before things blew up! And I was trying to save what was crumbling before my eyes. In November, I was noticing what I was losing... I wish we both made difference choices and communicated our problems to each other properly before it got to this point. Before the blow-out, which I guess gave her the excuse to "leave me" - I really wanted *US* to fix things.
If I had not blown up, and we were able to get counseling and talk and go to AA / AL Anon (She needs AA) - I think we could have saved our marriage, our family. I've pleaded with her to think about our baby, for his future - to try and work things out. That we both needed to fix our priorities.
And yes, we BOTH saw that we needed to spend time with each other going on - I told her this, and sometimes she told me this. And **WE** were supposed to do this, I talked about this.
When we both ACTUALLY talked about our issues, everything was something that could be worked on. Nothing that couldn't be patched up to rebuild trust and love.
I finally recognized the things I've been doing wrong, forgetting the person she was who I fell in love with. I still love her just as much today as I did years ago - but we (or I) took each other for granted.
I need to eject her from my life as much as I can.
PS: The apt. she's at with her co-worker/OtherPerson - was setup by the owner of store she works for (small business) - this, her boss knows those two are an item - since he had an available empty 1bed room that he handed over to them the day after this blew up. Odd, eh?