UPDATE: Hammer dropped! First time I've felt good in weeks. I even laughed a little.
First of all, I have been grieving. My Al Anon meetings have shown how alcohol has caused so many problems. I'd have been willing to STOP swinging if it would save us.
Keep in mind, SHE moved out into a new place with emo-kid. I always had the kid, with all this things in my much bigger home. she didn't have a way to care for a child and work.
She spent 3+ weeks getting drunk, having fun, going to parties, celebrating a new year, etc. So **NO** having my baby at THEIR home was not an option.
Meanwhile, I ended up in the hospital once - I've been having panic attacks, I've been an emotional wreck - while taking care of a traumatized baby.
But I was also something else she wasn't. I was getting my legal ducks in order while telling her "Lets go for join custody. Lets mediate next week or so". My tears were real and words were real... but she was dead set on boy-toy. Yet, I continued to document things, talk to people, pull in evidence - both physical, electronic, paper, video and photos.
She made a mistake throwing out the threat of a lawyer, a relative of her emo-boy. That was no lie, the guy was real. But the guy wouldn't lift a finger to help emo-boy - especially a homewrecker!
Yeah, I still love her. Always will. Will I ever reconcile? I hope not. But who knows? She's have to prove her self and that will take a lot. I doubt she'll try much less succeed from what I've seen of her actions.
I warned her that her fantasy will not last. She'll lose her baby, then her boy toy, then her job and her home, which means her clothes and her cats... where she goes? At this point, I barely care. She may end up on the street (ewww). I'm also looking at reporting the emo-boy to NARC, haven't decided. Moral thing to do is, "YES". But his mother has been helping me in some ways, so I'll see and is the only reason I have not. Stupidly, my wife left some evidence when she moved out I can give to the police.
TABC/whatever can take his phone and track all his contacts.
You're right about trust, Chuck71... I trusted her fully, which is the ONLY reason why I believed her bulls~ for so long. Trust is very important to me. I doubt I can trust her again.
- You are right. Trust me, my penis doesn't really work anymore. I've only got a two erections in the morning for a bit this week alone. I have NO interests in a relationship. But I like getting laid. I have a FWB girl to help me get warmed up to touching and sex again. Shes a real friend and knows I'll still have some issues. Better a friend, than a stranger or someone I may actually like.
Swinging and Sharing? Who knows. My wife liked sex with girls... so if I get another bi-girl, I think it'll keep it a rare treat. If she doesn't want to swing, then so be it. I care about the person I'm with - not the sex life style. But keep in mind, the ratio of mono-people cheating on their SOs is still pretty much the same.
I've lose weight and now about 20lbs over-weight. I'll be ready to start being social in 3~6 weeks with no expectations. Other than my FWB girl.
OKAY back to MY HAMMER.
1 - I filled my paperwork today for divorce and child-custody.
2 - Because she has no car and does get rides to work, I recommend that she got served at work.
3 - I happen to be close by when the process server (Constable) got lost and I told him where to go. So I watched from the parking lot (unseen) as he went in to retail shop. The Emo-boy approached, and soon my soon-to-be-EX was talking with the server for 5+ minutes.
4 - I talked to the server away from the building for a few minutes (LUCKY!). The emo-boy tried to lie and say "she's not here", but I told the server what she looked like when he was lost. So he pointed and waited "that her".
He read my 12 page affidavit before he got to the area to served her. OUCH! He told me "Get a better woman". I showed him a pic of our baby "great looking kid!". He said, she didn't look so good as he went over some of the stuff.
5 - Her side of the family is going to testify against her for leaving me and the baby. She doesn't have money for a lawyer. And the imaginary one was... well, useless.
I'll offer her a settlement. She pays me childsupport and I have full custody but allow her supervise visits.
I gave her chances. She wanted to be mean about it. But hurt my kid, you're gonna get hurt right back.