You have a lot of thinking my friend and you should put your son in the first place.
Consider this :
If you report OM then he will go to prison. Nice you got your revenge against him.
You were ok with swinging and sleeping with others so you have to know some of the problems this will cause.
Also you blame only OM. What about your wife and yourself?
Revenge would be sweet, but since his family is providing me with info and some support - I am NOT going to do it. Also, the headache of another trial and the drama involved with it wouldn't be worth it. I'm trying to move on with my life.
No, I blame all three of us for various mistakes. But I trusted her, I thought of him as a friend. I more certainly screwed up, but I didn't cause it. Alcohol is the major key that we keep coming back to. With her bi-polar meds, she's also in danger of death - which has me very concerned.
Now think about this one:
-Sending OM to prison will make you a happy man,your friends will be happy too.
Here is the catch - Your wife could go to prison too. Now this is hard. Sending your wife to prison is not a good idea I belive. You will left your son without his mother. Is this what you want ? No matter how much she hurts you or hates you,you should think about your son.
Yes and yes. Wife to prison... not happy with that idea. Not worth it and not bothering. They have their own hell to go to which they created for themselves. They have lost family and REAL friends. They are not accepted. And yea, people now know we were an open relationship.
But our families are still far more upset about the affair and that she left her baby and me for a 21yr old.
Since moving out your wife is not spending her time with him,she have other priorities right now
but maybe someday she will try harder and see her own child.
Third thing is : put your focus on your son and yourself. Try and become stronger after this,be better father and think about stopping with this swinging lifestyle
Haven't heard a word from her since she got served. Only the OM sent me cursing text messages "you pus~!" type of junk - he is not a person with many words. Thing is, she CAN visit our son any time, at my home. I've already told her she could. So now she is posting on FB how she misses him. (???) WTF! Hence, I told her before she got served "Everyday and night you see Loser's face and not your son, it was your choice!".
She will have some money problems you said. Well let her worry about it. If she stops buying drugs she could spend her money on nice apartment or child support.
She is out of your life so it is time for you to move on my friend. You have a growing son to think about.
She may end up homeless. When she moved out, it took 3 SUV loads to move her crap out... so their little apartment is nothing but boxes and bags in a pile. Not my problem. Shes more into drinking than drugs. The addition of medication is to enhance the drunkenness - which can and will cause damage to some of her organs.
She's going to have to hit HER bottom before she gets back up. My son does come first, thanks! He warms my heart and makes like worth living. He laughs and cries, he gives me hugs. He's learning new words almost every day now - he's at that age! One of the best times to have a child is to watch the explosion of mental growth. It saddens me that his mother is not here to see it.
Her(their) life is work for $9hr, drink at work, drink after work, drink at home or bar, (sex of course ewww) watch a bit of stupid TV shows, then pass out. Wake up for work, maybe not late. Hung-over. Buy stackers or energy drinks or speed and go to work. (REPEAT)
Wow... what a WINNING way to live?! Meanwhile, she doesn't have a lawyer and I'm working, I'm getting ready for court and my evidence will be devastating. The support from her side of the family for me to have custody is a big help. I hope she'll just settle with my demands as she shouldn't be able to win. I have about 7 witnesses, she got her self and her drunk lover.