husband ended affair-now what
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » husband ended affair-now what

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-01-2011, 04:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Jersey
Posts: 47
Default husband ended affair-now what

My husband ended his 4week affair yesterday. Last night he seemed very down and kind of distant. He said he thinks we both need a couple weeks or so of just letting things die down, being together, being close and staying busy. He wanted to end the affair (I didn't give ultimatum or neither did other woman) but he said it is still hard because he has feelings for her. Also he is used to texting her a million times a day. Can someone please tell me if this is normal? I feel like it's an addict going thru withdrawals. Obviously I am happy about his choice, but I am scared. I know it was just yesterday. But I need some insight/advice on what to anticipate immediately after the affair stops. We have a marriage counselor. But obviously haven't been to him since the affair ended. Thank you.
bossesgirl26 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 09-01-2011, 04:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
Moderator
 
Amplexor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Temporary Resident of Earth Lord Only Knows Where Next
Posts: 5,646
Default Re: husband ended affair-now what

The distance, depression and anxiety are all quite normal if not required. It will take some time for him to work through it all. Give him a bit of space for now but start to plan on what you need to do to reconnect in your marriage.
__________________
Amp

Confidence Love Patience Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp
Amplexor is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 09-01-2011, 04:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
better than before's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 70
Default Re: husband ended affair-now what

My H went through the same thing; he also compared it to withdrawal people suffer as they stop any addiction. You have to heal and just love him as he goes through process. My H told me supporting him after he hurt me showed him the depth of my feelings. He will have to accept and own up to what he did- not easy. This board is a great place to get help. Good luck with your reconciliation. Your marriage won't ever be the same, but it can be stronger.
Posted via Mobile Device
better than before is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 09-01-2011, 04:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
sigma1299's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,397
Default Re: husband ended affair-now what

Be careful in giving it time to die down that it doesn't get swept under the rug. The two of you have a lot of difficult work to do to successfully reconcile. It's painful work but doing it successfully can really improve your marriage in the end. If it's swept under the rug it will just fester and be sore spot until it is eventually dealt with.

Be sure to keep inspecting what you expect - that he maintains no contact. It's very easy to fall back into contacting an AP.
sigma1299 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How long after an affair has ended? CarlJ Coping with Infidelity 5 06-21-2012 03:10 PM
Husband ended affair-now bitter bossesgirl26 Coping with Infidelity 20 09-07-2011 11:01 AM
Affair ended but I don't know how I feel, please help! confooosed Coping with Infidelity 12 08-02-2011 10:05 AM
I had an affair and just ended it, but what about him? jsmith021378 Coping with Infidelity 16 09-23-2010 10:29 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:01 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.