Re: Wife Cheated 3 Times and I Still Love her
Well the positive thing here is three times a charm, in the fact that your blind trust has gone. That is the best thing that could happen to the both of you.
I strongly suggest that you take this privlage (blind trust) away from her for good. She has no longer earned that right, period.
As history has proven no matter what she says do not give this blind trust to her again, it will be a consequence that she can choose to except or move on.
This crap is addicting to her but you can't control her she has to fix this for her self. If she doesn't take some real steps in getting some help, I would think that it will continue, but for the sake that she does deside that this is the time to change then great, another consequence she must face.
I hope you see were this is going ....."consequences"
Now that were speaking about change, your up.........
She has three strikes, in my state they put you in jail for the rest of your life.
But, you need to really look into changing, how you manage your self. This crying has to stop, I'll say it again, this crying has to stop! Its unattractive. Women want attractive men that are confident. As you beg for your marrige you empower your wife to continue. Can you see this? Showing her how weak you really are is telling your wife that even though its bad to sleep with OM, my H will allways forgive me.
What I'm suggesting is reinventing your self to show her you will no long take crap from her or anyone else, and she will no longer hold you hostage with my children. She need to see a new man with such confidence and additude that if it ever happens again you will for sure move on. Keep in mind I'm sure you have told her "you would leave if she did it again" ? well stop telling her and show her a mans man that will succeed with or with out her and is more then caplable of giving your kids a good axample of a strong alpha male.
So please take the step to read up on as many self help books as you can to make the changes with in your self. I have a feeling once you find your old self with new behaviors things will come together for you. Remember these changes aren't for her, there for you in attempt to help you heal.
You can't control her so don't try, she is broken and has some work of her own to do, but after all that she has done it ain't about her any more, its about you and the changes you need to make to regain you self respect back.
So please focus on your self take care of your kids, for once in your life put your wife on the back burner and do this change.
I'm not say dump her she will do what she wants but you are at a cross roads here and its time to take the turn for your self this time.
I know its hard. For years I have come to the same cross roads and have always made the turn that was easiest and for my wife, only to have her continue in her unhealthy behavior. Please take the turn that is hard and it my push your wife away it may not. In
my case it brough my cheating wife to make the healthier choices, knowing that I was no longer a man to be reckoned with. In my case I just had to start caring about my self and wake up to the fact that I was not living life the way I wanted, in fact I wasn't living a life my wife wanted. Once I changed I have now found the respect that I command and others in my life see this and things are now coming together.
Last edited by the guy; 09-05-2011 at 08:53 AM.