Re: Husband ended affair-now bitter
I agree with all of these folks here. He is trying to justify HIS wrong and make no mistake, he was WRONG.
Having said that, recognize this as well, like it or not, he is GRIEVING. He allowed himself to get emotionally tied in to another woman and that sense of security, companionship and fun is gone (in a flash no less - and that is as it should be). His emotions are more fall-out from the destructiveness of an affair and it hurts (you) badly. You don't have to take his feelings into account, he blew it, he needs to own his feelings and stop treating you like crap.
Having said all of that - and please, there is no way to overstate how wrong he is - recognizing that he is hurting deeply MAY help you help him. He was wrong but assuming you want to stay in the relationship, you are in this together, you need to recover together.