When we first got together, I guess you could say I was the OW. Not really though. Like that relationship was ending, and we weren't having sex at that time. It was seriously just talking. Then when we started to become serious, I found out he was talking to another girl by reading his text then started texting the girl myself. He didn't have sex with her though, it that situation is done and over and I completely buried that.
I brought it up to him. Saying maybe I needed it, and he told me I didn't. That if I needed to talk to someone, I could call my friend or talk to him.
No, we couldn't even find someone to watch him when I was at my dad's and he was living for the army and that was only 2 days. So we had to put him in a kennel.
Well I just told him pretty much that I know this isn't going to change much but I know when we do argue it is over cocoa and even though I love him, I love you more and that I was willing to give him up. And by doing this I'm not saying that makes things better or that I expect everything to go away, that it was just a start of me showing that I would do anything to make him happy and show I want to work through this. At first he was like I won't make you dl that. I know you love cocoa. Then five seconds later, "where is he going" and I Sao I would forger it out. Cause I'm not taking him to the pound or anything, I want to make sure he won't get killed and has a home.
Sorry for the double posting I just wanted to ask a question. What am I supposed to do if he insist on having sex? He proposed it, and I said I think we should wait till we get tested or at least go get protection. Then he asked if I was attracted to him. I said of course and that last time we had sex he regretted it and that I didn't want the same thing to happen again. And I wanted to make sure he was completely ready. He said he was, so we ended up just having sex. He doesn't seem like he was last time and he is actually really talking to me.
Am I wrong for not keep on pushing that we should wait? It's hard because no matter how I say we should wait, he takes it as an insult. Posted via Mobile Device
People believe the funniest things. I never could get over how they test the rubbers. They blow it up like a balloon. Why don't they test them like the the real world which would be more like a tube of toothpaste. Squeeze one end and paste comes out the other. But our society believes that the words "use protection" and *poof* you are protected from STDS. What a joke. In a way its like the way the native Americans believed that blowing smoke and waving your hand over yourself protected you in battle. Bet there were some surprised Indians when their smoke shield didn't work.........Maybe they should have shouted "use protection" and warn sheepskin condoms (no latex then) before battle. I am sure they would have worked.
I told him that but all he heard was blah blah blah you don't find me attractive. No matter what I said made him feel any better. I just didn't know what to do.
I am at my moms now because he has drill tomorrow and her house is closer to the unit. He was/is upset that I don't want to tell my mom yet. She is seriously the type of person to involve herself as much as possible and I would really like to try to forger out some before adding a third party. I know I sound selfish but I don't even think I am emotionally ready to tell her especially since I know she will butt in it.
We talked about going to walmart to start Xmas shopping (huge family) and on our way we passed the gf and the on. Which put a damper on his mood. So by the time he got to walmart he already wanted to leave and then randomly he flipped out on me for someone walking into me. I calmy responded it was alright and he yelled to not yell at him. I didn't say anword till we got to the car. Like I know he has a right to be mad, but to wait till we were in public was embarrassing and all and all it upset/pissed me off. And I knew I just had to suck it up and deal with it because it was my fault. What are some things I could say if that happens again? Posted via Mobile Device
Mary.
I just want to tell you some of the things that my WW does that helped me, take what you will and the things you do use I hope they work.
Sex was a must it helped us reconnect, face it, you already had sex with H with out a glove so what ever the convict has you both have now. Boosting our sex life helped us.
Affection, just a rub on the back, a hug and a small kiss, grapping his hand to hold it, any thing that tells your H you do care. For me it ment she still found me attractive, it help boost my ego. For us guys thats huge.
Calls, My WW calls me all the time, when she got to work, when she leaves work, breaks, lunchs, all the time just to let me know were shes at and that she is thinking of me and how I'm doing. Its like we were kids all over again ... remember always call my new GF just to talk. Well these day ...all crown up and all with being busy she keeps the calls short and it just means alot that she is even thinking about instead of getting laid.
My WW are now heading toward 2 yrs of R.
She was a bigg time cheater and every ones says they would leave the cheater until there sitting in that sitch. But our R is going good and she has done all the heavy lifting, and has dealt with my snide remarks and my triggers and has stuck it out. So there is hope.
Since Your H isn't into going to see a MC, is he up to reading ?
"After the Affair" by Janis A. Spring, helped us.
Stay strong, it sound like you are facing the consequences, only to make you a better person when you do have kids, for that matter making you a smarter person as you grow. Its sound like you are find out who you really are, and I hope with your H's love comes forgiveness. I also hope that your H sees that your evil mistake is not going to define who you are and what you want to be. So good luck.
Remember to leave the books your purchase in plain sight of your husband so that hopefully his curiosity might be piqued and he starts reading them during his alone time.
I am at my moms now because he has drill tomorrow and her house is closer to the unit. He was/is upset that I don't want to tell my mom yet. She is seriously the type of person to involve herself as much as possible and I would really like to try to forger out some before adding a third party. I know I sound selfish but I don't even think I am emotionally ready to tell her especially since I know she will butt in it.
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Mary, he has mentioned this numerous times. It is important to him that she knows. Whatever the reason behind it, you are making many excuses to not do it. Those excuses are going to count against you the longer you go. You told him you would do ANYTHING to fix this, yet you are clearly demonstrating you will not. You should consider the message this is sending to him.
Mary, he has mentioned this numerous times. It is important to him that she knows. Whatever the reason behind it, you are making many excuses to not do it. Those excuses are going to count against you the longer you go. You told him you would do ANYTHING to fix this, yet you are clearly demonstrating you will not. You should consider the message this is sending to him.
Q~
Yup. You're going to just have to suck it up and do this. The "right" time just isn't going to appear. The discomfort, shame and embarrassment are just part of the price of cheating. If/when you tell your mom, do it like you told your H. Straight forward, no excuses, full ownership and accountability.
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Re: i feel guilty but.. 
