realistic

My husband was out of town for training for his job. A group of coworkers and him (including three women) went to a karaoke bar. They were all drinking. This woman's husband was there and make a comment about another woman. My husband said she was upset, so he told her He thought she was beautiful and sexy and she turned him on. There were other conversations that day by text with her. Including her telling him she would sing at the karaoke bar with this other woman because she was hot. Then later that night she rode with him and another man back to the hotel before they all met up again at one of the guys hotel to have a bachelor party. My husband and the other guy went and bought condoms as gag gift for guy at bachelor party. He texted this woman " Got the condoms, are you ready to go again?". He said it meant was she ready to go to the party with them again. All of this i found out when i happened to check his texts after he got back from trip. I was curious because he was acting different this trip.
I did call and confront both women. They say nothing happened and thought they did nothing wrong. They both said they thought of him as a friend only. One even replied to him after he told her she turned him on that she thought of him as a brother.

realistic

I could really use some advice on this. Each time I discuss this with my husband, something new comes up or he adds to the story. A lot of what he tells me doesn't make sense. Does he think I'm that dumb to believe he said those things without any encouragement from the woman? Please Help!!

HurtinginTN

OK. It would help to know the story from your point of view. It looks like to me you saw the texts, confronted him, and this is the story he gave you. If that is the case, it is highly likely there is more to the story. Especially if the story keeps changing.

If he gave you the story from the start, before you saw the texts, it may paint a different picture.

The woman's husband was supposedly there with them? Where was her husband when she and another woman went to the hotel with your husband and another man? That part sounded odd to me. And women going to a bachelor party? The only women at bachelor parties I've been to have been . . . well, umm, OK I'll leave that alone.

It's hard to say without more info, but my initial reaction is that something more is going on. I'm getting a divorce because of my wife's affair, so my outlook may admittedly be skewed.

One more thing, trust your gut. If your gut is telling you something is going on, it is likely to be true.

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tacoma

Your most definitely not getting the whole story but you probably aren`t going to anyway.

The behavior is seriously inappropriate at best, let him know that in no uncertain terms.

Let him know that it will stop right now and he does`t leave town again on his own for awhile.

He`s lost that privilege.

Keep him on a short leash and keep an eye on him.

Lon

yikes, clearly innappropriate, the picture you paint has him fishing for extramarital affection without a doubt. Other than his different behavior before this trip, have any other things seemed different? Hiding his cell phone, logging out of computer, changing his passwords, buying new clothes, etc?? You need to get to the bottom of what is going on, this doesn't seem to me like its an isolated event, though maybe its early on in his attention-seeking...

Locard

If he created this story after you read the texts, I've got a bridge I would like you to sell you, also deal in ocean front property in Arizona, if you believe him that is.....

realistic

My point of view: he didn't call much while he was gone, he extended his stay from 1 wk to 2 wks ( which he explained), he told me nothing about going out with a group drinking or to a "bachelor" party for a coworker that was last minute. He definately never mentioned women at the group outings. He came home the day after his training ended, supposedly couldnt get a flight out of atlanta..And I know this is stupid, but when he got home and we had sex...i could tell a difference.??
So I was curious one night after he went to bed and read his texts. The first one said from woman "I will do it with her because she is my friend and she is hot". One from him said "got condoms, are you ready to go again?", one thanked him for giving him lisa's number, on from the woman said, " That was a wild night last night, do you want to go again?". Then of course, there was his "You are a beautiful sexy woman and you turn me on"

realistic

I confronted him immediately after reading the texts. He told me nothing about any of it til then. Oh yeah, halfway thru his trip, he dropped his phone in pool and i didn't work. Well, it started working a few days after he got back and that when i read the texts.

realistic

the husband of the other woman was supposedly out with the whole group and the woman wanted to leave early and just rode back to the hotel with my husband and other guy. Most of the group stayed at same hotel. The were supposedly going to all meet back up at the bachelors hotel bar to hang out and that was what the condoms were for. They decorated the lights at the bar.

realistic

Did you get all that?? Im new to this

Jellybeans

The condom text is really odd to me. "I got the condoms--do you want to go again?"

Go again where? Like, have sex again??

realistic

He used to work out a lot. He takes lots of work details out of town. Buys lots of new clothes. What bothers me most is he keeps defending this woman, saying she did nothing wrong. I also sent him emails as the other woman: he told her that he gave me a "its all my fault thing" and Im good now and that he deleted his texts before leaving work now. And told her he wanted to get together when he was in town to hang out after hours.

Wingsoflove

Umm ya... something fishy is going on. "That was one wild night last night" really? Condoms for the bachelors party eh? And I agree with HurtinginTN.. What woman goes to a bachelor party unless they are working at the party? Something happened and he's hiding it from you

Jellybeans

Is the other woman married? If so, out her to her husband. And do so without telling your husband or her beforehand.

realistic

He explained the condoms: said he was telling her they were leaving and was she ready to go to the party with them. He had an answer for everything, but those answers sometimes changed up or had more detail.