MyKidsMom

Uggggggggggggg...... So yep shame on me I checked his phone and there was text from a gal that said- Have I told you yet how hot you are??? and about 6 more blah blah blah.

So I called her????? She called back, said they were flirting and he asked for her # so he could call her when he was up in Fresno.............. I have not said anything to him yet, I can not believe what chump I am for sticking around still........ Why the hell cant I just get up and go I mean this is stupid of me stuff like this has been going on for 3 years since my son was born. At least this is when I started geting a feeling and hell was I right on the nose.

For those of you that have read my other posts you know I just need to grow some ba77s and do it. Why cant I????? Now that money is so bad cars are indanger house is in danger water bill is out of control and going to be turned off. and all he wants from me is to get a job, what the hell I have a job I clean houses and take care of a trailer rental company, in my spare time. But thats not enough cause he needs to spend 20-30 dollars a day on lunch and tell me that he has no money. While his son and I eat left overs ( yum)

I dont know someone kick me I need it.

__________________
I am one of a kind, to know me is to LOVE me.

justean

you , despite what is going on are stil a committed woman and mother.
you know they are stil your priorities , that why you find it difficult to go.
its not an easy decision to make, especially when you know there are many loose ends that have to be tied up.
its not you that needs the kicking, he needs kicking where it hurts.
your next step is probably the comfrontation of the calls.
but i doubt this is a first time.
when i H's did it and yep both - i had gut instincts, mine proved correct. thats why your were right to.

draconis

draconis

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www.myspace.com/draconis1973

MyKidsMom

Thanks guys, well I did it. And a deer in the head lights is all I got

I told him that if he wanted some strange than go ahead (please) but "man up" and let me know!!!!!! so that I could also have a Choice in my life. I would wait till after the holidays if he wanted but he needed to make a decision and follow thru. Cause I was not going to live like this anymore and I was not going to be this snoop of a person ( I hate this person) It was not fair to me or him.. I told him that when he got "done".... hopefully I would be also, maybe I would be there and maybe I wouldn’t, but that he needed to be a grown -up and stop being so self absorbed he is not the only one scared out of thier minds about money and all our other stress. And the grass is only greener for so long on the other side then they figure out who you are and you figure out who they are. And he did this and he needs to fix it because I can’t and won’t be his band -ad. I also asked how would he feel if some one was doing this to his daughter (16) or his sister????????????

Of course he says I don’t want you to go, I said actions speak mountains over words. And all I hear is one thing and you keep doing another. Shame the hell on me.
I have been numb for a very long time and if he does not do something very very soon I will be forced to do the right thing for myself and my child. And I would never look back.

I hate this person that he is bring out in me, and it has been a long time since he has seen this empowered person, cause that is all the numbness does to me is keep pushing me forward.

Anyways, guys thanks a ton. Cyber hugs god knows I need a few right now.

P.S. I just had to put this in there yep when they get caught man how nice, charming, cute, happy, smiley they can be. It makes me sick that peeps with any kind of an abusive personality can always do something bad and turn around and be like oh but look at me for 2 weeks cant you see I’ve changed. ugggggggggggggggggg

__________________
I am one of a kind, to know me is to LOVE me.

draconis

I am sorry but your child should never eat left overs when he is having 20-30 meals. Let alone you, that money could be spend so much better. He wants to change, let him eat the left overs.

draconis

__________________
www.myspace.com/draconis1973

MyKidsMom

hehehehe D I am LMAO. I do like left overs. But your right, damn him

darn you Im still LMAO hehehehehehehhe

__________________
I am one of a kind, to know me is to LOVE me.

justean

i think you talking has helped you to figure the way forward.
well done.

but i agree with drac - let him to the leftovers.

i like your thinking. its really strong and good.

MyKidsMom

Thanks guy's, Im still here and he is still acting like look at me im a changed man. But all I hear is blah blah blah. I still love him very much but I need more. I need a partner and a safe place to fall. I am putting things into motion - of course on the down low. I will know when is the right time, I just need to make sure that all my ducks are in a row.

Im so scared, but I dont want to look back 5 years from now and have an STD or truly hate him due to his lack of judgement. I need security and true love or at least some one that loves me as much as I love them. Man I feel as if Im on a cliff and one wrong move and im F'ed 14 almost 15 years of my life has been him. uggggggggg its no time to look back.

I hate him for doing this to me and our family, I truly am heart broken.

__________________
I am one of a kind, to know me is to LOVE me.