kajira

Update:

Things are moving along in what direction I am not sure. My father passed away on Nov. 11 and I had to leave town for three weeks to attend to family matters, due to the fact he lived out of state. While I was gone my focus was not on him, moreover, the fact my father was gone. While I was gone we did talk some. He wanted to be comforting etc. and I just wasn't feeling it or wanting it. Upon my return, his affectionate actions have been smothering. I had to tell him so. I am under lots of pressure from the children to work things out. Furthermore, he keeps having what I consider inappropriate conversations with the older children. What is between him and I needs to be between him and I. They do not understand how adults interact, especially when it comes to our situation.

Anyway, thanks for listening.........

draconis

Try to find a day where the two of you can have 4-5 hours to sit down for the idea of communicating. Although what is happening in the adult world isn't all for children they have a right to know aswell, as anything you decide will effect them more then yourself. But you and the hubby need to come to an understanding about how to tell them stuff.

draconis

evenow

I'm sorry for your loss.

Confront your husband with your concerns. If he really wants to resume a good relationship with you he will back off when you tell him to and stop sharing this information with the children. Let him know what you want from him (or as much as you've figured out).

I'm a little concerned that his new-found love for you may be because he's afraid of losing you. On the surface this may seem sweet, but if he isn't going to change his behavior he's just wasting your time.

Tag

Having lived with him for 19 years would surely make you uncomfortable of imagining a future without him. Why have you stayed together for so long? Try to work it out.

kajira

Tag,

There is still a part of me that cares very much for him. When you have been with someone half of your life it is hard to walk away. The newness of the information since late September, still weighs heavy on my heart. I am still sleeping in the other room, residing in the same house. I think mainly for the children and financially. At this point I really do not know what to do. I have never felt so lost and confused. I am withdrawn and heistant to move forward for fear of getting hurt. In addition, I know that I deserve to be happy. For right now I am just taking it one day at a time. That is the best I can do.

berlinlife06

Sometimes we are afraid of making a mistake because we are unsure of the outcome. Just think of you, of what you want, of what you are willing to do. You deserve better. At the begining will be weird, but it always gets better, in ways we never expected.