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post #91 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-20-2011, 08:08 PM
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Re: OM found murdered

An evil maniac who caused the murder of over 6 million Jews and nearly destroyed his country. A 20 cent rifle round between his evil eyes would have prevented much suffering. As far as Saddam, if you think he was the only evil character in Iraq, you should have seen the videos I helped take out of his sons' palaces. God can discuss their souls. Down here, they were both just mass murdering wastes of DNA. My regret is that they both were allowed to live far too long.

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post #92 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 12:26 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

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An evil maniac who caused the murder of over 6 million Jews and nearly destroyed his country. A 20 cent rifle round between his evil eyes would have prevented much suffering. As far as Saddam, if you think he was the only evil character in Iraq, you should have seen the videos I helped take out of his sons' palaces. God can discuss their souls. Down here, they were both just mass murdering wastes of DNA. My regret is that they both were allowed to live far too long.

hmmm... just curious about your opinion...what about the 250,000+ Japanese civilians killed in Nagasaki and Hiroshima ordered by Rosevelt?

What about the 20 million Russians and Ukrainians eliminated by Stalin?

Just wishing to understand your logic...
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post #93 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 01:00 AM
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post #94 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 04:00 AM
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hmmm... just curious about your opinion...what about the 250,000+ Japanese civilians killed in Nagasaki and Hiroshima ordered by Rosevelt?

What about the 20 million Russians and Ukrainians eliminated by Stalin?

Just wishing to understand your logic...
Ordered by Roosevelt - wow. From the grave? Thuman! More Japanese were killed in the fire bombing than the atomic bombs - distinction?
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post #95 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 06:34 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

Would you have preferred 100,000 U.S soldiers dying trying to take Tokyo? Long before the bombs were dropped, the Japanese proved their unwillingness to surrender, even when resistance was futile. That was about 70 years ago and nobody has had to worry about any Japanese attacks since. Extreme? Perhaps. 100 Effective? Absolutely.
As far as Stalin, Mao, etc, I concede that Communism and all other Leftist manifestations involve extremely large body counts. Again, well aimed shots between the eyes would have saved many innocent people. I would think Leftist war protesters in America would have been thrilled to see the mass slaughter in Cambodia that followed our withdrawal from Vietnam. They helped make it happen.
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post #96 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 07:39 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

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post #97 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 08:23 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

I hate haters.

And moral equivalence. It was very much Truman. Passifists are sooooo .... Beta.
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post #98 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 08:30 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OM found murdered

Getting back to the topic of this thread, I haven't gotten any more info regarding the circumstances surrounding the OM's death except what my police detective friend told me. So last night I called our mutual friend to ask her a few things that have been on my mind since D-day regarding the relationship between my ex-wife and the OM. I asked her if she knew about my ex-wife's affair before I did and she said yes. I then asked her why she never told me about ex-wife's affair, and she said it was because my ex-wife told her it was a ONS and that she was going to confess to me that same day. So the next time she saw my wife, she asked her how did it go with me after she confessed to me about her ONS, my ex-wife told her that I took it very hard but that I said to her that we would work through it. It was only after the sh*t hit the fan on D-day that our mutual friend found out that I wasn't the only one that my ex-wife had betrayed, she also had been betrayed. She said that when my ex-wife went to see her, all hysterical and crying, she then told her that I had found out about her affair. Mutual friend said she was livid and ripped into my ex-wife for several minutes, finally telling her "I hope he divorces your sorry as* and finds himself another woman". I finally asked her if my ex-wife had told her who the OM was and where she had met him. She said that my ex-wife told her that his name was Sean and that she had met him in an online chat room. But that was all the information that my ex-wife gave her regarding the OM.

Thankfully my curiosity is nowhere near the morbid levels of 'I must find out by any means', including to the point of me personally going to my ex-wife and interrogating the sh*t out of her for the missing information. So the mystery still remains about who Sean X was, where he lived, etc. and frankly that's ok by me.

'I'd rather live by a dream, than live by a lie.
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post #99 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 09:05 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

So this brings to mind in a very scary way just how close your wife brought a likely very bad and dangerous person into the mix. It is bad enough she hooked up with a guy on an internet chat site, but you then find out he was brutally murdered.

As I have said before in my opinion while a WS owns their affair, and we are then so quick to point out that the couple own any issues in the marriage that many do not find the OM/OW as having responsibility for their actions. Ok fine. No excuse for cheating.

But it boggles my mind that many feel the OM/OW are really not accountable for their actions. It is kinda like if you leave your front door open it is not stealing for someone to enter and take from you. They know it is wrong. People who cheat with married people know this is wrong. We can safely say that OM/OW have a wide range of culpability depending on what they knew, when and what their intentions were.

For sake of argument there is a continuum from a person who becomes emotionally involved because of poor boundaries or whatever that has no intention of cheating to a full blown dangerous predator. I believe they are both accountable. However, I agree that the first kind is not like the rapist, drug dealer suggested. BUT, the other extreme is a truly evil predator who is purposely seeking out married woman to bed for its own pruposes and for the thrill of destroying thier family. There are some men who take a special pleasure in conquering married women, humiliating them AND they revel in the fact they are able to humiliate the husband by taking away thier wife. They get some sick pleasure from this. You can say this seduction is not rape, but in essence to the husband it is like a rape. From their view their wife and mother of their children is being taken forcibly from them and defiled. And in some case these women are truly raped. They are seduced so far and then preyed upon.

Anyway, my real point is that at the one extreme end there can be some really dangerous people that prey upon women. The women are seduced and bring these dangerous men close to their family by having a sexual relationship with them. This puts the whole family in jeopardy. Sometimes these men are brought into the family home and close to the children.

We don't know much about this man who was murdered but he preyed upon a women who was having serious emotional issues. That is messed up. It does make one wonder who this guys is and whether he was murdered because of his hobby of bedding married women or some other illegal goings on. Sure for statistical puposes their is a small chance he was in the wrog place at the wrong time ... get real.

So you really don't know much about this OM?
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post #100 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 09:18 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OM found murdered

Assumptions can be deceiving. Why do we assume that the OM was a felon? For all we know he might have been simply an amoral, regular guy with no criminal background. On the other hand, his murderer most likely has one. If there is one lesson for ANY OM to learn is this 'You fu*k with the wrong woman and you may end up dead'


'I'd rather live by a dream, than live by a lie.
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post #101 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 09:37 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

Mori--I'm not surprised your ex did not tell her friend all the information. She was probably deeply ashamed by what she did.

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But it boggles my mind that many feel the OM/OW are really not accountable for their actions. It is kinda like if you leave your front door open it is not stealing for someone to enter and take from you. They know it is wrong. People who cheat with married people know this is wrong.
I don't understand how some folks who say the OM and OW aren't accountable either. Granted, they did not take a vow, but like you said, they know full well that what they are doing is wrong. Again, you can't hav ea betrayal without a third party. As stated a gajillion (is that word?) times, 99% of the time, the OM and OW know the person they are engaging with is married/in a relationship. So they are aware. If they continue after the fact, then they are willfully participating in the betrayal. And even if they do not know, it is STILL an affair is the other person is married. However, none of this absolves the married person. They can either choose to shut it down so it does not happen or go through with the affair.

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BUT, the other extreme is a truly evil predator who is purposely seeking out married woman to bed for its own pruposes and for the thrill of destroying thier family. There are some men who take a special pleasure in conquering married women, humiliating them AND they revel in the fact they are able to humiliate the husband by taking away thier wife. They get some sick pleasure from this.
I have head this as well before. How for some OM, the ultimate conquest is bedding a married woman. They get off on it. It's a high.

By the same token, there are OW who operate with this in mind, too. They get a sick pleasure out of knowing they are sleeping with married men. I read recently on a website where as woman was posting that she had an A with a married man, he left his wife for her, lived with her for 2 years, and then he had gone back to his wife and she was distraught. She kept saying how she "knew" it was so very wrong but she loved him and now she felt like a loser now knowing he went back to his wife and something to the effect of "I always felt like it was a competition and I was winning since he left her to be with me...and now I feel like I lost... like she's the victorious one." Then she said how her self-esteem was totally shot and how she ultimately felt bad for the wife since it's clear he wasn't committed to her if he left her. But then how awful she felt he left her to be with his wife...he told her that he couldn't just up and leave her. And the OW said something like "I don't get why it's so hard to leave... eventually his kids will learn to love him again and their anger will die down, he will repair things with his family, his wife will get over it, and his sick father (who by the way, the wife cared for as he lived in the marital home with the wife!) can be fine on his own!!! and how leaving a house/finances behind were not that big of a deal--they were just "things" that can be replaced. Yes, she used the world "replaced."

But I digress. Entrop made some good points.

Mori--it's prob best for you not to know and the thing is, you probably will never know everything. I've recently spoken with my exH and found out all kinds of new sh!t. But he still will not tell me her name. Stupid, right? We're divorced now! He claims he can't remember. That he truly forgot and cannot remember her name at all. I told him "It's funny you can't remember the name of the woman you betrayed me with." I think it's safe to say at this point he will probably never tell me.

Last edited by Jellybeans; 09-21-2011 at 09:42 AM.
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post #102 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 09:45 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

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Assumptions can be deceiving. Why do we assume that the OM was a felon? For all we know he might have been simply an amoral, regular guy with no criminal background. On the other hand, his murderer most likely has one. If there is one lesson for ANY OM to learn is this 'You fu*k with the wrong woman and you may end up dead'
We have to live our lives with assumptions. Yeah I know the old adage about assumptions, but pragmatically we have to make assumptions all day long or we are at a dead stop. We never have all the answers. To figure out the puzzle we have to test with assumptions. Much about what we think we know at anyone time is wrong or skewed.

I would say that the odds that he was into some bad stuff dramtically went up hearing just this small bit of information. It is all probability. But it makes you wonder.

And I agree. A man ought to be very afraid to cross the boundary of pursuing another man's wife. He could get his head blown off or whatever. Bad juju. I am not making a moral judgement. This is just serious stuff for many folks and you do not know how they will react.

Last edited by Entropy3000; 09-21-2011 at 11:51 AM.
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post #103 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 09:58 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

Like someone else referenced, the Unfaithful movie with Richard Gere is a good example and that stuff really does happen IRL.
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post #104 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 10:39 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

Every state recognizes that adultarous people tend to end up dead. That's why we generally have reduced penalties for "crimes of passion". For the shooter, there is a great difference between 1st degree murder and manslaughter. For the shootee, not so much.
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post #105 of 115 (permalink) Old 09-21-2011, 11:21 AM
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Re: OM found murdered

I once arranged to have my friend's abusive dad beat the hell up. He died years ago but he lived the rest of his life with a limp.
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