Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?
It helps that you tell us all this but your wife is the one who needs to hear it more. Tell her how lucky you feel to be married to her, commiserate with her tragic losses and tell her you want to be the shoulder that she leans on. Let down your wall and let her in. Express your concerns in a gentle, non-accusatory tone. Tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her if there's any way to fix your medical condition, that you'd do it to strengthen your marriage.
She's been pulling away and you're soaking in your misery. Collect all the evidence you want but at the same time, fight your way back into her heart. Like the other poster said, what have you got to lose? It may be a Hail Mary pass but that seems to be your best bet right now. Cook her a nice dinner or take her out for a date. EI did everything she could to save her marriage when her husband was pulling away but you haven't even begun, I don't think. It's time to bring your A game.
If you can't lift any more, then swim. Join a gym with a swimming pool and swim to get back in shape. There are many things you can do besides lifting.
Chasing after the evidence of an affair is being reactive, in this situation. Be proactive instead and fight for your wife's heart.
Last edited by becareful; 03-29-2016 at 02:20 PM.