Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun? - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #61 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-25-2016, 11:20 PM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

His wife needs to know to protect her kids!

Once your wife is out what do you think is going to happen? The **** is going to hit the fan.

Yes it will hurt at first, better then him just up and leaving them in the dark of night.

Remember the e-mail exchanges, he is planning on leaving. At lest give the POS's wife a chance to ready herself before it happens.

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post #62 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 07:26 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

Funny how the "high road" comment always seems to allow something shady to continue. Seriously, you know how this feels from BOTH sides. You were basically in Limbo for 4 months, you were in turmoil and got hit by the karma bus, but you think you are protecting her kids and family by taking the high road? I used to be a "high road" cop out type of guy. Then I realized, "high road" has many meanings and some are flat out wrong.

Not engaging in a fight, name calling or other actions even if it feels warranted is the "high road."
Not snitching, most of you are not career felons, is not the high road. The best part is felons and the whole "honor among thieves" garbage is mainly BS. Go look at how many co-conspirators "snitch" each other out to save their own skin.
Hiding an affair is not the high road.
Minding your business is NOT always the "high road."


Tell her so, she can be prepared for life if she chooses to stay and share her husband.

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post #63 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 08:05 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

Sorry to hear that my friend. Keep calm and dont do anything silly,you are going to be alright.Lot of happy years in front of you,especially not that cheating wife is out of your life.

Talk with your lawyer and see your rights. Your wife lied to you and cheated on you. I think Affair is even longer,sorry.

Tell the other wife. Both of you are in the same position and you are not the one to take the blame. Your wife and OM caused all of this and hurt two Famillys.

Proceed with your Divorce and dont move out of your House. Dont listen to her lies anymore. She cheated,she love other man so kick her out.

Stay strong my friend.
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post #64 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 08:24 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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But I'm going to take the high road Gus. Why take actions that will hurt two young children? And by telling his wife, that's exactly what I do, hurt two young children.
Hahaha of course..very magnanimous.
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post #65 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 08:52 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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But I'm going to take the high road Gus. Why take actions that will hurt two young children? And by telling his wife, that's exactly what I do...
No BB2111, not the High Road, you're taking the Dirt Road. You have been living in the dark for 6 months. Would you not of welcomed a late night call from the OMW giving you the truth. Do the same for her.

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying... Andy, Shawshank Redemption.
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post #66 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 09:25 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

I wish I could say that I'm surprised to hear the bad news, but I'm not.

Sorry, man.

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #67 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 11:53 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

Not to mention, she may want to get herself tested for STDs
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post #68 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 12:33 PM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

I wouldnt do anything until the divorce is finale. Wouldnt want any more alimony than necessary
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post #69 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-27-2016, 11:02 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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No BB2111, not the High Road, you're taking the Dirt Road. You have been living in the dark for 6 months. Would you not of welcomed a late night call from the OMW giving you the truth. Do the same for her.
^This^ QFT.
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post #70 of 128 (permalink) Old 05-27-2016, 11:57 AM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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I wouldnt do anything until the divorce is finale. Wouldnt want any more alimony than necessary
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This is why you hire a lawyer. I agree if you live in a specific state. Many have adopted imputed income so, a spouse can't just quit to get higher alimony and child support payments.

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post #71 of 128 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 07:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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This is why you hire a lawyer. I agree if you live in a specific state. Many have adopted imputed income so, a spouse can't just quit to get higher alimony and child support payments.
There are no children and she makes more money than I do. If there's any alimony, I'm getting it.

I still have not taken action to tell the wife anything. I've been told not to do it. It doesn't accomplish anything. It only serves to hurt her. She's going to find out at some point anyway and may have already found out. It would not help her to find out any more quickly than she is going to find out. Besides, like me, she strongly suspects something isn't right.

Men, take heed. If your wife asks you permission to take yoga classes, she is really asking your permission to meet with her lover and said yoga classes and have sex with said lover in the yoga facility shower room.

My two cents. It's now been one week since she left. Other than a couple of texts, I have not heard word boo from her. Not sure if I want too. She is avoiding me. I don't blame her. She destroyed a 14 year marriage. Worse yet, she's not only boning this other guy, she's hooked to Ecstasy.
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post #72 of 128 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 07:49 PM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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There are no children and she makes more money than I do. If there's any alimony, I'm getting it.

I still have not taken action to tell the wife anything. I've been told not to do it. It doesn't accomplish anything. It only serves to hurt her. She's going to find out at some point anyway and may have already found out. It would not help her to find out any more quickly than she is going to find out. Besides, like me, she strongly suspects something isn't right.

Men, take heed. If your wife asks you permission to take yoga classes, she is really asking your permission to meet with her lover and said yoga classes and have sex with said lover in the yoga facility shower room.

My two cents. It's now been one week since she left. Other than a couple of texts, I have not heard word boo from her. Not sure if I want too. She is avoiding me. I don't blame her. She destroyed a 14 year marriage. Worse yet, she's not only boning this other guy, she's hooked to Ecstasy.
Then set the law on her.

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http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk...-cheaters.html (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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post #73 of 128 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 08:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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Then set the law on her.
This is California. Tell the cops that your wife is high on Ecstasy will result in a yawn and not much else. Bottom line? Without some serious intervention from members of her own family, nothing is going to happen.

And that's the problem. Her mother, father and brother, her rocks in this universe, are gone. They've all died within the past ten years. She's alone now.

I'm telling you this is not my wife. I never would have married a woman like this. The woman I married was a good, strong Catholic girl. Someone who routinely LECTURED me that "good Catholic girls don't **** around. We are not tarts and *****s."

The problem is that the death of her brother, who was three years younger than she was, which also meant losing all contact with her God children, sent her over a proverbial cliff. The woman who climbed back up is nothing like the lady that went over.

I have to bring myself to the fact that she's gone. The woman I married is gone. She's been replaced by someone who is very ugly. I am not attracted to her in the slightest. But, at the same time, I also loved her deeply. I so wanted to help her get through this.

But it's time to move on now. She may have moved out just seven days ago but I've been crying for the past six months. I knew I'd lost her. I knew I lost her a long time ago. It's just that I kept trying to get her attention. "Look at me! I'm standing on my head!" I did everything I could to distract her and bring her back. Problem was she was already gone.

I don't hate her. I don't know if I ever will. But I am very, very sad. Perhaps this is just Stage 1 of many stages still yet to come.
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post #74 of 128 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 08:26 PM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

This is probably one of the saddest things I have read on TAM.

FWIW, you and your wife will be in my prayers.
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post #75 of 128 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 08:29 PM
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Re: Am I Crazy? Or is this the Smoking Gun?

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Someone who routinely LECTURED me that "good Catholic girls don't **** around. We are not tarts and *****s."
Pfffft.

Are you that clueless?

The most repressed people - usually because of organized religions - are those who are most likely to stand by those 'rules' and, eventually, BUST FREEEEEEEEE from the stupid, repressive rules and do what they really always wanted to do.
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