Agree with the above poster.
Right now is probably the lowest of the low. Everything seems against you, you're getting down on yourself.
If you're going to be out of work in the short term then you're going to start getting into a routine of doing stuff, whatever routine you're starting to settle into make it positive, i.e working out, a hobby that will take up a big chunk of time and make you feel good about yourself, because negativity feeds into negativity and you might wind up in the cycle that is hard to get out of, especially with your ex and your siblings seeming to delight in poking you with sharp sticks.
Do right by yourself, just to royally p*ss them off!
The sun is shining here today. It's warm too. Warmer than it has been for a long time. When I first moved into this crappy little rental, the skies opened up and cried right along with me. It rained incessantly for months on end. 27 inches of rain so far in a year where the normal number is 20 or below. The snowpack in the Sierra Nevada is twice it's normal size. There was so much pressure on Northern California waterways, the second largest dam in California nearly collapsed this winter. Thank God it didn't.
I spent this cold, dark and rainy period packing up a 25-hundred square foot house that my wife and I once lived in. I had to do it all -- even her stuff. She simply would not come and get it. And since she has far, far more money than I do (an inheritance that I can't touch nor would I want to), she could just allow that house to stay empty for years. I couldn't afford that. So, in December, after the job ended, I went to a big box store, bought about 30 medium sized boxes, took them to the home we once shared and started packing.
By the time I was finished I had filled up 28 boxes for her, one for me and one left over. At least she came over to get the boxes. I nearly had to rent a storage facility. By January, the packing was complete and that's when the rehab started. I ripped out all the carpets stained with years of cat urine, sealed the floors to get rid of the stink and put in new distressed laminate flooring. Next came the paint job. Every single room. Mushroom Bisque on the walls, flat white on the ceiling. Semi gloss white on the trim. Then some cleaning to get rid of the crap left over from a major reconstruction job. Next came the small repairs. A door had to be replaced. New screens for the screen door. Reattach a downspout. Get rid of the trash in the backyard. Fix broken electrical switches and replace blown ballasts. It seemed like a million and one things. It took awhile and a lot of contractors, but this work is finally wrapping up now. You were talking about a project that I could throw myself into Bob? That was it.
If I finish when I expect, the house should be ready for the market next week. Just in time too, as prices are just shooting out of sight in California. This house could possibly sell for three times the amount we paid for it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
In the meantime, I've been passed over for a number of jobs that I was qualified for. I got the idea that my old employer really didn't want me back so I've expanded my search to anything, anywhere. But, some recent developments with the old employer are leading me back to where I started. I will find out soon.
It will be a year this May since she left. I don't mind telling you it's been the worst year of my life. But the sun is shining now. Things are starting to point up again.
I don't think I will find love again. I won't even look for it. I'm 53 years old. I have no desire to open myself up to this kind of hurt again.