Re: how to cope with cheating wife
First, you need to snoop. If your wife has a smart phone, install spyware on the phone so that you can see the messages. Also, put keylogger software on any computers your wife uses. Also, put a voice-activated recorder under the seat of her car. This should give you substantial evidence that the affair is either continuing, or truly over.
If the OM is married, tell his wife about the affair. She may be able to help you ensure that there is no after-business contact.
As far as working together, your wife should look for other employment. If you can afford for her to quit right away, then do that. If not, she should start looking for another job while attempting to maintain a strictly professional relationship with the OM. If her company is large, she may be able to get a transfer to another department if she tells HR that she had an affair with OM. But, that might get her fired as well.
Your wife also needs to give you complete transparency. You should have access to her email, Facebook, phone, everything. When she's leaving work, she should call you. If she hits traffic and will be 10 minutes late, she should call you. You need to be checking on her like she's your teenage daughter. Eventually, you will begin to trust her again because her actions will prove that she has recommitted to you.