It's such a different dynamic than a one time (person) mess up. I too am married to a woman who was so incredibly selfish, that had the opportunities came up - coupled with a husband that didn't take action - she would have been having EA/PAs for her entire life.
I'm a different person now than I was back at May's D-Day. I will be a-ok in this world, with or without her. And wow, what opportunity there is out there as far as women go. . .it's like I took the pillow case off my head and the ease of courting ladies as a grounded middle aged guy who has stayed in shape. . . let's just say there are plenty of options.
BUT, I do care for my wife, yet the severity of damage done is honestly a bit overwhelming to get over. I can't ever look at our wedding pics again now knowing she indeed was in a 2nd relationship, arguably a more intense one than ours was, and though she picked 'me', goodbye to the other guy took place in our house, while we were engaged.
Multiple guys, things that were done risked her health and mine, the sanctuary of our house ruined, oh, and I know we have discussed it is common to affair down when getting with someone else (as was the case with my WW, she took care of losers...guess she liked being in the drivers seat), but it is something I have a real problem with - I offered her everything and yet it was not enough...she also needed attention from a fat guy in chapter 11 BK. WHAT ON EARTH?
Am I really going to get over this? With the post-nup, it's like my wife has become my prisoner of war, and that is not really fair to her.
I guess what I'm realizing is that if there is any chance for us to R, it is going to take a LONG time. . .I am now in the belief we may be separated, but civil, for a year perhaps.
But I need to avoid my tendency to long range forecast. . and focus more on what's one hour down the road. . .not 6 months down the road.
I'm a different person now than I was back at May's D-Day. I will be a-ok in this world, with or without her. And wow, what opportunity there is out there as far as women go. . .it's like I took the pillow case off my head and the ease of courting ladies as a grounded middle aged guy who has stayed in shape. . . let's just say there are plenty of options.
BUT, I do care for my wife, yet the severity of damage done is honestly a bit overwhelming to get over. I can't ever look at our wedding pics again now knowing she indeed was in a 2nd relationship, arguably a more intense one than ours was, and though she picked 'me', goodbye to the other guy took place in our house, while we were engaged.
Multiple guys, things that were done risked her health and mine, the sanctuary of our house ruined, oh, and I know we have discussed it is common to affair down when getting with someone else (as was the case with my WW, she took care of losers...guess she liked being in the drivers seat), but it is something I have a real problem with - I offered her everything and yet it was not enough...she also needed attention from a fat guy in chapter 11 BK. WHAT ON EARTH?
Am I really going to get over this? With the post-nup, it's like my wife has become my prisoner of war, and that is not really fair to her.
I guess what I'm realizing is that if there is any chance for us to R, it is going to take a LONG time. . .I am now in the belief we may be separated, but civil, for a year perhaps.
But I need to avoid my tendency to long range forecast. . and focus more on what's one hour down the road. . .not 6 months down the road.