That she needs someone who is enigmatic, artistic and enlightens people around him. Who "stands up in the crowd and lives life to the fullest".
HAHA. I will say this is one of the more creative ones.
Here's what you do.
Become that enigmatic guy - kick her out. File for divorce. Go find a good, respectful, non-cheating wife, live a great life.
She could have handled this better but what happened happened and we all need to take it from here. That was as close to the quote as I can produce ATM.
Ahh. Here's your double order $**** sammich. Enjoy it, it's still steaming hot.
She hasn’t answered my question about the divorce and does not seem to want separation but needs "time to asses who she is and what she wants". So it looks like I have been denied even a f**ng say in whether we should try to reconcile or divorce.
Wrong. No time to asses. You have all the say.
What you need to say is "get the F out of my life"!
I just can't call relatives and friends and talk to or face them. She hasn't announced anything either AFAIK. I don't know what I'm going to say to our son (who thanks to God is overseas). I don't even know why am I posting this as all decisions and doubts have been taken from me.
What did you do wrong?
This is all on her.
She chose to cheat.
She chose to blow up your marriage.
She chose to spread her legs for someone else.
She chose to break your vows.
She now get to reap what she has sown. Let others know. Let them help you. Let them rally for you.
I get (logically not emotionally - yet) the need for this to be exposed but once the genie is out of the bottle my chance of having calm and thoughtful discussion on the matter with anyone from circles are almost zero.
She's a cheat.
She's a liar.
You won't ever have a calm or thoughtful and most definitely truthful discussion on the matter
Forget that happy line of thought.
but as far as I see it mine is not typical.
Please stop. This circular thought will crush you.
Yours isn't unique. It is following a standard cheater script
She did not say she wants to divorce me. In fact when I brought the matter up she ended up in tears. But for what I know these could be tears of relieve that the most difficult part is over. After all when I confronted her, her “I need someone else” message came with the whole list of what she was unhappy in marriage with – and it was a complete shocker.
Typical cheater script.
She is gas lighting and marriage rewriting.
She's justifying why it was okay for her to cheat.
Mind you, there is NO
reason for cheating.
She said this was one time,
Let me fix that. It should read "This was the one time you caught her"
she ended it, she regrets it.
Cheat speak - throw bull schidt to see what sticks.
She regrets getting caught
Plain and simple
She said she loves me –
Bully for her. If this is what she does when she loves you, I'd really hate to see what she would do to you if she hated you.
What I’m saying that I’m not sure how I would have reacted if she was really remorseful and willing to undo the damage, but as this option is clearly not on the table, who am I to stay in the way of “real” her? Perhaps I don’t really know who is she really? So I don’t feel like I have a choice now, and honestly not sure if I really need and alternative. I love her – I’ll let her go.
You don't know who she is.
The sad part is, you never did.
Cheaters are great Chameleons. They can hide in plain sight for years. Unfortunately, they can't hide what they truly are forever and devastation follows in their wake.
I’m waiting for a call from a lawyer as we speak and now – based on one of the suggestions – need to book a time with GP for STD test, Great, f**g great she is a nice old lady who has been looking after us for years.
2) STD test
3) Read up on 180 - implement like yesterday
4) seperate finances now - don't need her spending any more of your money on her friend
5) IC for you - you need to talk with someone to help you realize that this isn't your fault
6) expose far and wide
7) DNA your kid - yes I know your kid is older and overseas - but this isn't to prove you are the father (you raised him so now matter what, you are his father) - this is to show her how much you distrust her.
8) remember, she isn't who you fell in love with. That person was a lie
9) Also remember - she's a cheat and a liar - pretty much everything that comes out of her mouth can't be trusted