Re: I don't know what would be the right title
Again you are moving quickly. Read other threads, in some cases BS will wait months living in limbo before they even think about taking to a lawyer. They move out of the house hoping their spouse will miss them. Your moving forward. Yes their is much yet to do. Yes you are frozen emotionally, yes you struggle with your sense of self worth, yes a part of you thinks you are to plan. But you are taking steps and laying a foundation and know you want the house and custody. So good on you.
How are you doing with exposing the adultery? Have you shared what has occurred with anyone?
Oh as to posm. Don't let people tell you to let him skate. I copied this from another site:
Who is the other person*
There are moments in a persons life that transcends time. That emotion on the day of and day after their wedding, the birth of a child and that first moment me holding the child. They inform us, they are not what makes life worth living, they are life.
In the same way, adultery has transformed me. The echoes of the uncertainties and raw emotional pain will always be a part of me. Overtime it has and continues to evolve into a source of empathy. The empathy that enables me to understand others pain and fear, both in matters like this and others.*
*posm are not nice people. They had a choice to support *your marriage. *They could have helped your spouse to fight and win to save your marriage. They choose to use the opportunity to try to fill a void in their life. In doing so tey choose to inflict the pain and loss I wrote above.*
Understand they choose to be the one. To say "if not him, then..." does not work. They *choose it to be them and no one else. In this they *are *lacking in character. So, they could be a fine person, *but so are addicts until they need a fix.
So what is, is. I have gained acceptance, I have greatly healed. I have gain empathy and awareness, and a great deal of indifference. It is from indifference I say "no they are not a nice person". *It is from the same place I would comment on a persons second DUI. No when a person allows there own weakness to create actual harm or create a real threat of harm, they cannot be truly be considered a nice person
So he owes, but collect the debt at a time and place of your choosing.