sadly to be considered stalking will be required this behavior for quite a period of time and some dangerous behavior I was told by the cops, not that easy to get a RO as it may seem. He was also very put together in front of the cops, they do not consider him dangerous and he left and told so, well at least from my street!
Yeah she is crying, haven't seen it but can hear it! Wonder how long can it last???? Has been locked in the ****ing bathroom for hours now!
By official I was not meaning legally so. If after he was told by her to go away and that she called the cops there is no further plausible doubt here. He will argue that until he can get her away from you back home for a while that she is under your control.
Ok, so she handled it. I guess she will have to keep on calling the police. Until he gets more bold or goes home. I would not tempt fate. She stood up when you needed her to do so. I think it is ok for you to be the protector now. Well done BTW.
She`s faced him, he didn`t get his "alone time", and the cops have a report of him stalking your wife.
Now if he keeps it up you have an "in" for an RO.
This is a great turn of events CB!!
Let her cry, but once she`s done (tomorrow) she`s got some seriously deep difficult questions to answer man.
Questions you won`t like the answers to probably.
Thanks guys! She left the bathroom, wants to cook us dinner and fill the questionaries together, I'm going along with it and putting my best behavior. Will also express to her what you guys telling me, sounds very good advice and I can use it right now as you can imagine I'm angry and need to get it under control.
No police report was filed the cops did not saw a need for it, like I said he put quite a show to them in my opinion, left when told and all this crap that is taking into account.
On other note like I said before we will be sending a NC letter to my SIL, I was having conflicting thoughts about my brother as he is my only brother, well he called and let me know that they let POS stay there tonight as he (brother) feels responsible for him coming here once his wife gave him the address etc etc and he is concerned by POS staying out all night, brother also told me POS intends to stay in town for a few days! I will be sending NC letter to my brother as well. Done with him as well!
sadly to be considered stalking will be required this behavior for quite a period of time and some dangerous behavior I was told by the cops, not that easy to get a RO as it may seem. He was also very put together in front of the cops, they do not consider him dangerous and he left and told so, well at least from my street!
Yeah she is crying, haven't seen it but can hear it! Wonder how long can it last???? Has been locked in the ****ing bathroom for hours now!
The statutes differ from state to state with regards to stalking or harassment. In mine, any unwanted contact like what happened here is grounds to obtain a Protection Order. I would imagine when the cops arrived, they put him in handcuffs and searched him for weapons before releasing him and telling him to leave.
they did searched him and his car but he was not put in handcuffs, he told them he got the address from my SIL and I'm sure that played a role. The cops kinda felt they were called for no reason!
On other note like I said before we will be sending a NC letter to my SIL, I was having conflicting thoughts about my brother as he is my only brother, well he called and let me know that they let POS stay there tonight as he (brother) feels responsible for him coming here once his wife gave him the address etc etc and he is concerned by POS staying out all night, brother also told me POS intends to stay in town for a few days! I will be sending NC letter to my brother as well. Done with him as well!
Most definitely done CB!
Cut him out like a cancer...un****ingbelievable!!!
I was having conflicting thoughts about my brother as he is my only brother, well he called and let me know that they let POS stay there tonight as he (brother) feels responsible for him coming here once his wife gave him the address etc etc and he is concerned by POS staying out all night, brother also told me POS intends to stay in town for a few days!
Wow, POS is only able to stay in town because your brother is helping him by giving him a place to stay. He will have dinner with him and talk to him and treat him as a friend. He is not even being neutral on this. He has picked a side and it was against you. The fact that he would do this is a true and total betrayal that I would never forgive or forget.
My advice is to Ignore the POS. You are giving him the attention that he wants. Relax and live your life. Tell your wife that you need to trust her to do the right thing. Tell her if she does the right thing all of you will have a good life together. If not you will move on. Then start planning your honeymoon with your wife right now. Take her mind off of the other man with fun thoughts with you. Your calm will calm her down. Joke, watch TV and ignore the OM. Maybe go to dinner with your wife or see a movie. Ignore him.
After that bait the POS by leaving the house on short errands. If while you are away he knocking on the door over and over again, have your wife call you. Go home but do not allow yourself to get baited into talking to the POS. Do not fight with him no matter what. Being strong does not mean being stupid. Getting arrested would be playing into his hands. Rinse and repeat this a few times so that when you call the police you can say that he is disturbing the peace and harassing you by repeatedly knocking on the door knowing that he is being ignored. Knocking on the door one time is not harassment. Doing it repeatedly is. Ask the police how many times someone can do this before they call it harassment and take action? Be nice to the police but be firm.
Thanks guys! She left the bathroom, wants to cook us dinner and fill the questionaries together, I'm going along with it and putting my best behavior. Will also express to her what you guys telling me, sounds very good advice and I can use it right now as you can imagine I'm angry and need to get it under control.
No police report was filed the cops did not saw a need for it, like I said he put quite a show to them in my opinion, left when told and all this crap that is taking into account.
On other note like I said before we will be sending a NC letter to my SIL, I was having conflicting thoughts about my brother as he is my only brother, well he called and let me know that they let POS stay there tonight as he (brother) feels responsible for him coming here once his wife gave him the address etc etc and he is concerned by POS staying out all night, brother also told me POS intends to stay in town for a few days! I will be sending NC letter to my brother as well. Done with him as well!
UFB. So your brother is letting the OM stay at his home while he stalks your wife. Methinks there is way more to this my friend. You brother is neck deep in this. Why? You gave a reason for the SIL, but a brother is blood. There is something very rotten here.
Does your brother or SIL know this guy personally? Why would your brother leave this guy in his house with his wife? They must know him.
So are you needing to go back to work? If so your brother has made this possible for the OM.
Essentially the OM can kice with your brother on and on. And have him come back anytime. On any weekday or weekend and have a friendly base camp.
UFB. So your brother is letting the OM stay at his home while he stalks your wife.
+1
UFB is right. I can hardly believe what I'm reading. OM is not his concern, who gives a crap if he wants to live in his car? His brother should be helping him give OM the beatdown if it came to it. I know all mine would, not that I would even need their help.
UFB is right. I can hardly believe what I'm reading. OM is not his concern, who gives a crap if he wants to live in his car? His brother should be helping him give OM the beatdown if it came to it. I know all mine would, not that I would even need their help.
Exactly. The OM living out of his car wears him down. He can no longer stay credible to the police. Legally he has a place to stay now. A reason for being in the town. He is their guest. He has friends and encouragement and resources. The SIL can do his laundry. They can provide other family information. The brother can call up his work to make sure he is there and have plausible denial. And who knows what else. Now when the police ask where he is staying he can say I am staying at that guys brothers home. I am their guest. I am visiting them. I have a reason to be in your town. The brother will vouch for him with the police.
Exactly. The OM living out of his car wears him down. He can no longer stay credible to the police. Legally he has a place to stay now. A reason for being in the town. He is their guest. He has friends and enciuragement and resources. The SIL can do his laundry. They can provide other family information. The brother can call up his work to make sure he is there and have plausible denial. And who knows what else. Now when the police ask where he is staying he can say I am staying at that guys brothers home. I am their guest. I am visiting them. I have a reason to be in your town. The brother will vouch for him with the police.
This is right on.
Rather than write your bother off right now, give him a chance to do the right thing. Call him and tell him how he is empowering the POS. Tell him that you are calling him to stand up and act like your bother and to not help or let his wife help the POS stay in town. Tell him to pick a side right now. If he does not act like your brother then tell him that your relationship is over forever as it is better to have no brother than to have a bother that betrays you like this. If he has trouble understanding what you are saying, tell him to call a friend that he trusts and ask the friend how he would feel if his brother did this to him.
So your brother is playing house with the OM. Your brother's wife is okay with this. At first I couldn't wrap my mind around that, but the. I started thinking: the OM may have something on your brother. This is such a bizarre turn, and CB's brokerage certainly is not acting like it. CB I hate to even think it, but have you considered that something occurred between your wife and your brother, that she told her OM or her sister, that is now being used for leverage for OM to stay there? Posted via Mobile Device
I told my brother everything I could, not worth it anymore, he made his choice, he thinks he is making me a favor let the POS stay there tonight so at least "I know where he is" and tell me that POS will stay in town for the next few days, POS will not stay at my brother but anyways what he has done for me is enough. Already told wife we will go NC with brother too.
Tomorrow morning FIL will drop the kids off and I will go with him to the lawyer get NC letters to brother and SIL. I told wife she should have a normal day with the kids as always, that after the lawyer I will get us both the two copies of the books, go straight to work and will try to get home earlier tomorrow. I told wife POS will be in town for the next few days, told her I trust her and believe she will do the right thing like today, if she needs to call me at work.
The honeymoon sounds a great idea, I will start looking into it, it's something she asked for years and I know I should have done a long time ago.
No, nothing between my brother and my wife, my brother is just a jerk doing what is wife wants, plus on his crazy ass mind he actually thinks he is doing me a favor!
Hi there! I love what every user has said so far and agree with most of the comments.
You train people how to treat you my friend, and hanging around waiting for your wife to "make it work" with ANOTHER man is simply something you will not tolerate. You have no reason to stay. You love your wife so tell her, "I love you baby but I have to love you enough to let you go." You choose your own happiness and she is choosing what she believes in hers. Like some of the other comments have stated...You will find someone who is totally into YOU and not living in the past with a lame ex BF who lives with his mommy.
Good luck my friend...keep us posted!
1Likes
Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF 
