So dear brother your advice to me is that I should let a mentally ill man walk into my house and do everything he can to convince my wife to abandon her husband and children and run off into his fantasy world contrasted in his mentally ill mind?
And
You are helping a mentally ill man in his attack upon my famillly, even after my wife has said she has no desire to go with him? Posted via Mobile Device
Not even! He shouldn't have to ASK questions to his bro. He should just tell his bro flat out,
"You are disrespecting me and my marriage by enabling this affair. You are my brother and your behavior has hurt me deeply. It's best that you don't contact me for now."
Yes, I have her email password, even before this, wife rarely but really really checks her email and when she does she uses my laptop so I know what she emails. She doesn't have any facebook or the likes, she is using a new phone that I gave her and I'm holding on to her old one until the new number is switch to it, she wants the dam old phone!!!!
Well I'm sure and have prove they only been in contact this last four weeks since that dam wedding but yeah I know what your saying, if nothing else has been on her mind probably all along even through she says she did not had any feeling for him until the recent couple of years but yea I hear you...
Yes, any sort of contact with him in any shape or form I'm done, done for good.
I'm coming to believe my ******* brother may indeed on drugs or some sort of mental issue, I barely recognize him!!!!!
It makes no sense that your SIL would have hooked them up at the wedding and say that they love each other let them be together. If they have indeed been separated from each other for years this is absurd of her.
And again, I think if they feel so much for this guy your brother should share his wife with him until he can get settled in.
I'd bet money your SIL is bangin the mail man. She's far too into this soulmate ****. She's a pro at brainwashing your brother, too. Posted via Mobile Device
SIL reason to say they "love each other" is the fact POS and wife been in contact for four weeks SIL on words, "only a week would have been enough for real love" she told me this. Wife has not talked with my ******* brother but did talk with my SIL the other day, I have it on VAR and it was a brief talk where wife said "you don't know me *****, you know anything about me, don't ever call me again"
I tried everything along this lines with ******* brother, nothing gets through him, we used to be best buds until he got married after that I always kept being the nice brother and helped him multiple times, payed off debts he got from his ***** of a wife crazy shopping trips and so much more but he has changed so much over the years that I don't know him anymore.
WhereAmI, honestly would not surprise me, I been thinking is based on her hate towards me but she does act like someone who does know to much about this "forever love" crap
What concerns me is that just Sunday you posted she said: he is/was always the love of her life and that no matter what this time they not giving up on each other!"
This was not you run of the mill affair or even short EA. This sounds like it was a long-term EA. Did they keep in touch the entire time???
yes I started dating her 2.5 years after they broke up.
No, wife and her family moved right after they broke up they moved for unrelated reasons and POSOM had no idea where wife was until he saw us at this other friends wedding and SIL told him where we were, phone number etc etc
Jesus, I think it's time for your W to man up here. She needs to talk to the SIL and your brother herself. They are sooooo convinced they are in love that they are trying to make that happen! Your words have no power to them.
This is what they are thinking..."jeez, it really sounds like they were meant to be together. W and CB have been having problems. We feel bad for her - she hasn't been taken out to dinner in 6 months, CB doesn't ever even take a day off to be with her. You, know, look at the determination of this guy - it just seems like it was always meant to be. CB should just do the right thing and let her go, it's so obvious she'd rather be with OM."
Of course, part of this thinking is because they are doing nothing but hearing the OM's sob story.
Here's my advice. Let go. I'm not saying dump her. I'm saying, take your hands off the steering wheel and tell her you won't stand for this drama anymore. It is wrecking your life as you know it. Tell her it's all in her control to make this go away. Because you can't. Tell her you love her and you hope she ultimately chooses you and your marriage. Then release. See if she heavy lifts to end this nonsense. It's ridiculous now, like a bunch of 16 year olds. Her putting her head in the sand, refusing to talk to anyone is not facing the reality that SHE has created. The reality that is ruining all of you, and all of your relationships. They all need to grow up, get out of high school, and deal with this one way or another.
Gabriel you are right, I do think you have a point.
Two things I forgot to mention SIL throw at my face that "if she had been in touch with the POSOM before and had know how much he loves wife and how he never forget her, she would have helped him years ago" This tells me that wherever POSOM says they buy it!!!
My ******* brother to "prove" how nice POSOM is to my wife told me "POSOM is even willing now to let her have a relationship with the kids" So yea POSOM has done a great job showing how nice he is!!!!
Jesus, I think it's time for your W to man up here. She needs to talk to the SIL and your brother herself. They are sooooo convinced they are in love that they are trying to make that happen! Your words have no power to them.
This is what they are thinking..."jeez, it really sounds like they were meant to be together. W and CB have been having problems. We feel bad for her - she hasn't been taken out to dinner in 6 months, CB doesn't ever even take a day off to be with her. You, know, look at the determination of this guy - it just seems like it was always meant to be. CB should just do the right thing and let her go, it's so obvious she'd rather be with OM."
Of course, part of this thinking is because they are doing nothing but hearing the OM's sob story.
Here's my advice. Let go. I'm not saying dump her. I'm saying, take your hands off the steering wheel and tell her you won't stand for this drama anymore. It is wrecking your life as you know it. Tell her it's all in her control to make this go away. Because you can't. Tell her you love her and you hope she ultimately chooses you and your marriage. Then release. See if she heavy lifts to end this nonsense. It's ridiculous now, like a bunch of 16 year olds. Her putting her head in the sand, refusing to talk to anyone is not facing the reality that SHE has created. The reality that is ruining all of you, and all of your relationships. They all need to grow up, get out of high school, and deal with this one way or another.
Simple solutions are usually the best solutions. People should fix messes they create. If it isn't meant to be, than it wasn't meant to be. If she doesn't / can't do this - you will be seen as a controlling person who had to have his way. Not to say that you are, but that is how most are perceiving.
She alone has control of herself. If she just "messed up" and started her EA because she was lonely, this ought to be an easy cleanup chore. Set your boundaries and enforce, but let her deal with the issues.
Sometimes if we let our waywards hide behind us, they won't learn to respect us any more than before. Matter of fact, how long before the next crisis that you are managing for her.
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Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF 
